Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development

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Introduction
In recent decades, a
degree
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has become an essential requirement when
employers
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hire new employees. I believe
this
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trend has arisen because of the improvement of modern education.
This
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means that more people now have
degrees
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, and
employers
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use them as a quick sign of basic
skill
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skills
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when there are many applicants for one job. In my view,
this
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is largely a negative development.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, a
degree
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is an international standard for getting a job, especially in medicine, education and finance.
Employers
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trust
degrees
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because they may show basic knowledge, hard work, and the ability to finish a long course.
For
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this
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reason, a
degree
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serves as a convenient filter, simplifying headhunters’ search.
Degrees
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vary by level—bachelor’s, master’s or doctoral—or by university prestige.
However
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,
this
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also
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means that
degrees
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may become a standard requirement even for jobs where practical skills matter more.
Body paragraph 2
In contrast
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, the drawbacks are substantial. By ignoring practical skills and personal characteristics, companies may miss good workers or make poor hiring choices.
For example
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, an experienced salesperson without a
degree
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may be rejected for a sales manager role,
while
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a less capable graduate is hired;
this
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can cost the firm clients and revenue.
Similarly
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, a skilled cook without a
degree
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may be overlooked for a head chef role, which can reduce a restaurant’s quality.
This
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trend can leave skilled people feeling unfulfilled.
Consequently
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, the negative repercussions outweigh the benefits, as a
degree
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does not guarantee competence.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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degrees
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help
employers
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screen candidates and show basic knowledge and commitment,
this
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trend is predominantly negative because it undervalues practical experience and personal qualities. A balanced approach considering both
degrees
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and real-world skills would be fairer and more effective.

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task response
Answer both parts well: you explain why firms use degrees and give a clear negative view. To make the first part stronger, add one more reason, such as firms needing an easy way to check many people in a short time.
task response
Your main view is clear from the start and stays the same. Still, explain more fully why the growth of modern education leads firms to value degrees. At present, this link is a little short.
task response
Your examples are clear and fit the topic. You could make one example more real by showing how the firm loses money, time, or good workers after choosing a person mainly for a degree.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, reasons, problems, and conclusion. Each paragraph has one main job, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, such as “For this reason”, “In contrast”, and “Consequently”. Try not to use too many strong links in one paragraph; sometimes a short, direct sentence will make the flow more natural.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph moves from sales work to cooking work. Both examples fit, but you could develop one example more instead of giving two short ones. This would make the paragraph feel more joined.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly repeats your view and gives a useful answer: firms should look at both degrees and real work skills. This is a strong ending.
task response
You give a direct answer to the question and clearly say that this change is mostly negative.
task response
You include useful reasons for employers to value degrees: basic knowledge, hard work, and the ability to finish a long course.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well, so the reader can easily see your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of paragraphing is strong. The first main paragraph presents benefits, while the next one presents problems.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standardized measure
  • specialized expertise
  • dedication
  • long-term goal
  • higher education
  • practical skills
  • adaptability
  • problem-solving abilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • homogeneous
  • diverse perspectives
  • negative development
  • inequality
  • valuable skills
  • insights
  • balanced approach
  • proficiency
  • safety standards
  • candidate's profile
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