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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the reasons of students to study a particular in a UK university in the year 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The pie charts illustrate the causes of youngsters who
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 an education at
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 from 1987 to 2007
Overall
Linking Words
, three decades
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
 the most common students’ choice
were a
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 suitable degree
courses
Use synonyms
, that remaind steady.
Whereas
Linking Words
 other factors have significant changes in a rise or a drop. The increased reasons
popularity
Change preposition
for popularity
show examples
 between 1987 and 2007 are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
dergee
Correct your spelling
degree
courses
Use synonyms
, the proximity to parental home and the
quality
Use synonyms
teaching
Change preposition
of teaching
show examples
.
Apropriate
Correct your spelling
Appropriate
 degree
courses
Use synonyms
 were the
favorite one
Fix the agreement mistake
favourite ones
show examples
 over the given period. From 1978 to 2007 its fame slightly grow on 2% and reached from 35% to 37%. The advantage of a small distance to
parental
Correct article usage
the parental
show examples
 house rapidly went up from 10% to 22% and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the second most popular
students
Check wording
reason for students
show examples
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the third rise was
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
 teaching that relatively to others
grown
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 only on 3% , from 15% to 18%. The
quality
Use synonyms
 of
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
, good sport and social activities
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 less demanded. The
quality
Use synonyms
 of resourses were the second
commonly
Rephrase
most commonly
show examples
 chosen after
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
courses
Use synonyms
 in 1978.
However
Linking Words
, its popularity dipped to 4% over the
last
Linking Words
 30 years and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the third
chosen
Rephrase
most chosen
show examples
 factor by 2007. A dramatic
deacreas
Check wording
decrease
show examples
 can be seen with sports and social activities; between 1978 and 2007
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
these activities ranked
thrid
Correct your spelling
third
 in popularity and fell around 13%
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is the biggest drop
compaired
Correct your spelling
compared
 with others. To be more specific, now it is the
less
Replace the word
least
 selected preference.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words courses, quality with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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