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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
The diagram illustrates how the process of making chocolate
production
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apply
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is carried out, which involves the use of various equipment
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, there are ten stages in the whole
of producing
Replace the word
production
 process, starting from harvesting cacao in the
Us, africa
Correct word order
US, Africa,
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 and
indonesia
Capitalize the proper name
Indonesia
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 and ending with creating liquid chocolate by putting into
inner
Correct article usage
the inner
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 part pressed.
Body paragraph 2
In the first place, cacao trees are planted in
south america, africa
Correct word order
South America, Africa,
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 and
indonesia
Capitalize the proper name
Indonesia
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 and
being created
Wrong verb form
are creating
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 ripe red pods. After that, pods are gathered before white cocoa beans are transformed
to
Change preposition
into
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 a box, where
it is
Fix the agreement mistake
they are
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 fermented. Following that, these beans are dried
surrounding
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apply
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in the sun
weather
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apply
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and
being
Verb problem
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put into large sacks.
Conclusion
In the next stage, cocoa beans are transported by train or lorry and had telen to
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
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.
Next,
Linking Words
these are roasted
in
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at
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 a high temperature up to around 350 degrees before being crushed and
removed shell
Correct word order
the shells removed
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, these products are put into
inner
Correct article usage
the inner
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 part
pressed
Correct word choice
and pressed
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 to generate liquid chocolate production.

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task response
Give a clear report of all main steps. Include the last steps: the beans are pressed, and the liquid is made. Do not add a step that is not shown.
task response
Use the right words from the diagram. For example, write “cacao beans”, not “white cocoa beans”, and say the trees grow in South America, Africa, and Indonesia.
task response
Make the overview more exact. State that the process starts with growing and picking cacao pods and ends with liquid chocolate.
coherence and cohesion
Put each group of steps in a clear order. One paragraph can cover growing, picking, fermenting, and drying. The next can cover moving, roasting, crushing, and pressing.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show time: “First”, “Next”, “After that”, and “Finally”. This will make the process easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long or unclear phrases such as “put into inner part pressed”. Write short, clear sentences, for example: “The beans are crushed. Their shells are removed. Then the inner part is pressed.”
task response
You give an overview and show the start and end of the process.
task response
You include many key stages, such as fermenting, drying, transport, roasting, and crushing.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing mostly follows the order of the diagram.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful process links, such as “After that”, “Following that”, and “Finally”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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