IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays many young people deliberately damage public places. What are the causes and solutions?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
The issue of the young people who
damage
Use synonyms
 public
places
Use synonyms
deilberately
Correct your spelling
deliberately
 has become a significant
concert
Check wording
concern
show examples
 in recent years.It is widely
beileved
Correct your spelling
believed
 that
destory
Correct your spelling
destroying
 public
sites
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 are bad thing.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the causes of the
damage
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 and propose possible solutions
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 discuss the effects and suggest ways to address the issue.
Body paragraph 1
One major cause of the
damage
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public
Change preposition
to public
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places
Use synonyms
deliberately
Rephrase
apply
show examples
is
their
Correct word choice
that their
show examples
 parents do not monitor them .
For instance
Linking Words
, if a child destroys
somthing
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something
 in
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 park and his mother had a
falling
Replace the word
fall
,the child will not repeat the same wrong.Another contributing factor is
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 mimic someone and do not know it is wrong.
This
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 is particularly evident in a girl
mimic
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mimicking
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 her
freind
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friend
 to
destory
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destroy
 the public plays.
Body paragraph 2
One solution is that the parents should
strict
Verb problem
be strict
show examples
 with their children ,which would help by respecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
sites
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.Another solution is giving the young people
reward
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a reward
show examples
 if they respect the public
places
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 and do not
damage
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it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
,which has been shown to encourage children to maintain the environment .
In addition
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,many families support their children to clean the public
sites
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such
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 as parks,malls,transport
situations
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stations
show examples
,and
restuarants
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restaurants
.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,young people who
damage
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 public
places
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 deilberately is a pressing issue .By adopting monitor and encourage them to preserve the public
sites
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 ,we can address the root causes and work towards a better outcome.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give clear causes, such as poor home rules, low care for shared places, and copying friends. Then explain how each cause leads to damage.
task response
Make each fix clear and show who should act. For example, parents can set rules, schools can teach care for shared places, and towns can use cameras, fines, and clean public areas.
task response
Use real and clear examples. The example about a child and his mother is hard to understand. Say what the parent does and why this stops the child from doing it again.
task response
Keep the main ideas on the exact topic: young people who damage public places on purpose. Do not add ideas that are not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: first part for the topic and your plan, second for causes, third for fixes, and last for a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main part with a full topic sentence. For example: “There are two main reasons why some young people damage public places.”
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “Therefore”. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make words agree and be clear about who you mean. Instead of “they mimic someone”, write “Some young people copy friends who damage public property.”
coherence and cohesion
Fix unclear word use so the reader can follow your meaning. Use “public places” or “public property” in the same way through the essay.
task response
You discuss both causes and fixes, so your essay stays on the main question.
task response
You give useful ideas about parents, rewards, and young people helping to clean public places.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For instance”, “Another”, and “To sum up”, to show the order of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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