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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows the contribution of tourism, construction and agriculture to the Egyptian economy from 1982 to 2003.

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The graph shows the contribution of tourism, construction and agriculture to the Egyptian economy from 1982 to 2003.
The bar chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the
economy
Replace the word
economic
 share of
tourism
Use synonyms
,construction and farming
to the Egyption
Change preposition
in Egypt
show examples
 between 1982 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 from
tourism
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a major factor to Eygption economy, and there is a gradual increase in the amount of money from
tourism
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period. The
measurment
Correct your spelling
measurement
 unit is
Billions
Use synonyms
 US dollars.
The
Correct determiner usage
Tourism
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 has significantly increased from 1982 to 1993, followed by an approximately consistent increase, where in 2000 reached its peak, 2 years
later
Punctuation problem
later,
show examples
 the
income
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a slight drop in 2001 and
stays
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 fixed for 2002,
then
Linking Words
 in
2003
Punctuation problem
2003,
show examples
 the
tourism
Use synonyms
income
Use synonyms
 sharply decreased. The highest point of the
income
Use synonyms
 was in 2000 with $4.25
Billions
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest point was at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
this
Linking Words
 period
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is in 1982 with $0.25
Billions
Use synonyms
. 2001 and 2002
are having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the same
income
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around $3.75
Billions
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourism, income, billions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic contribution
  • percentage of GDP
  • tourism sector
  • construction industry
  • agricultural sector
  • overall trend
  • a steady increase
  • a gradual decline
  • a sharp rise
  • a slight fall
  • remain stable
  • fluctuate over the period
  • reach a peak
  • fall to a low point
  • account for
  • make up
  • overtake another sector
  • the highest proportion
  • the lowest figure
  • by contrast
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