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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about how much people in the United States and the United Kingdom spend on petrol. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph below gives information about how much people in the United States and the United Kingdom spend on petrol. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the amount of money spent on fuel
from the
Change preposition
by
show examples
people
Use synonyms
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the United
States
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 consume
fuel more
Correct word order
more fuel
show examples
 than poor
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
vice
Punctuation problem
, vice
show examples
 versa.
People
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
 consume
in
Change preposition
more
show examples
 total fuel
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 their trend is inversely
propotional
Correct your spelling
proportional
 to the class of
people
Use synonyms
, unlike
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
Kingdom
Punctuation problem
Kingdom,
show examples
 their consumption
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the
perecntage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of income. The highest proportion of income was achieved in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
 by just above 5% in
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
 class,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest point was accounted in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 by slightly below 1% in
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
 class. The
lowset
Correct your spelling
lowest
 and highest
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 were in the poorest
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 there is only one point
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 both countries had the same income
by
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 around 4%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, states, kingdom with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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