IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Many people think that universities should accept equal rates of men and women
students
Use synonyms
 in every subject. I strongly agree with those people because it will ensure equal opportunities for
students
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, and it can lead the
students
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 to enhance their knowledge.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, every
student
Punctuation problem
student,
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 regardless of their
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gender
Punctuation problem
gender,
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 will have equal chances of being selected in any field.
In other words
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,
this
Linking Words
 will ensure justice for every student
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there will be no
gender
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 favouring.
For example
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, the number of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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who’s
Correct subject-verb agreement
who are
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studying nursing subjects can be the same as
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, equal opportunities for both genders
which
Verb problem
are ensured, which
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ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
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 that justice is being done.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
, enhancing
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students
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students'
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 knowledge will be achieved because they are studying different
subjects
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subjects,
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 not only studying what is suitable for their
gender
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that
this
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 will lead to better career outcomes.
For instance
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, after
graduation
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graduation,
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 they can make sure that they took every
information
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piece of information
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that is
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 possible to take.
Consequently
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, equal job opportunities and
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future for the next generation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly agree that
everyone
Punctuation problem
everyone,
show examples
 regardless of their
gender
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 deserve equal chances of studying multiple subjects, because
this
Linking Words
 can ensure justice
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been applied, and
students
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 will become knowledgable which leads to better career outcomes.

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task response
Give a clearer view of how far you agree. You strongly agree, but also say why equal numbers in every subject may not always be fair if one group has more able people who apply.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and result. The point about more knowledge is not fully clear: students can choose any subject now, so explain how equal numbers would change this.
task response
Use more real and specific examples. The nursing example shows equal numbers, but it does not show why this rule is good for students or for society.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the link from each example to the main point more clear.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete or are hard to follow. For example, change “As a result, equal opportunities for both genders...” to “As a result, both genders would have equal opportunities.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same ideas: equal chances, justice, and equal jobs are close ideas. Add a different point, such as how mixed classes can help people learn from each other.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Consequently” should introduce a clear result from the sentence before it. Make sure each result follows from the reason given.
task response
You answer the question directly and make your view clear from the start.
task response
You give two main reasons for your view: fair chances and future work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs and uses words such as “To begin with”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats your main view and brings the essay to a clear close.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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