IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The picture below shows the museum's plant in 1998 and after some changes were made in 2008.

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Introduction
The maps illustrate the developments which took place in the
museum
Use synonyms
 between 1998 and 2008.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a comparison of two maps reveal complete transformation. The
museum
Use synonyms
 has changed from a simple to a modern style.
Conclusion
As the maps show, in 1998, in the upper left corner, there were huge permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
 rooms;
instead
Linking Words
, in 2008,
there was constructed restaurant
Correct word order
a restaurant was constructed
show examples
 and a temporary
exhibition
Use synonyms
 room
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 constructed. The cafe was located between two permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
 rooms. In 2008, it remained at same place, but WC was added next to it. The garden was located at the centre of the
museum
Use synonyms
 in 1998, and after the transformation, fountains and a cafe sitting area were added to it in 2008. In 1998, the
museum
Use synonyms
 had a shop, WC and a bags and coats area at the south-east corner;
however
Linking Words
, all of them were replaced by permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
 rooms in 2008. The ticket entrance/exit remained at the same place. In 1998, at the south-west corner had temporary
exhibition
Use synonyms
 room, but
instead
Linking Words
 of it , bags and coats and a shop area were built in 2008.

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task response
Give a clearer main view. Say that the museum had major changes, with new public areas and more exhibition space.
task response
Cover all key changes in a careful way. Check each place on both maps before you write, so that no change is missed or mixed up.
task response
Use clear map words such as “was replaced by”, “was added”, “remained”, “in the north-west”, and “in the south-east”.
coherence and cohesion
Put the details in a clearer order, for example: north-west, centre, north-east, south-east, then south-west.
coherence and cohesion
Make each long sentence shorter. This will help the reader follow the changes more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea twice in one sentence. For example, write “a restaurant and a temporary exhibition room were built” only once.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. “However” is useful for a clear contrast, while “instead” should come after the place or item that changed.
task response
You describe many important changes, including the restaurant, exhibition rooms, garden area, shop, and bags and coats area.
task response
You also point out what did not change: the café and the ticket entrance/exit stayed in the same place.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, an overall view, and a main detail paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful change words such as “added”, “replaced”, “remained”, and “built”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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