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Band 6

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps illustrate the
changes
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a school between 1985 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 time.
This
Linking Words
 report aims to summarise the key trends,significant
coparisons
Correct your spelling
comparisons
 and notable
changes
Use synonyms
 highlighted in the data.
Overall
Linking Words
,the
area
Use synonyms
 underwent several significant
changes
Use synonyms
.Some existing features were removed or replaced ,
while
Linking Words
 new facilities were added.
In addition
Linking Words
,the layout of the
area
Use synonyms
bacame
Correct your spelling
became
 more
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
. Looking first at the southern part of the
area
Use synonyms
,
playing
Correct article usage
the playing
show examples
 fields
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 located there in 1985 .
However
Linking Words
,it was reduced in size and added
Pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
 and Fitness centre.Meanwhile,
Office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 remained in the same location ,
although
Linking Words
 a car park was added.
In addition
Linking Words
,the classrooms
was added
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
also
Linking Words
. Moving to the opposite part of the
area
Use synonyms
,the library
replaced
Verb problem
was replaced
show examples
 by the learning resources centre and
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the classroom was expanded.Another noticeable change was
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 shape of the car park was changed .In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
,the main road was added between the car park
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the playing fields,making it easier for students to move around.
Overall
Linking Words
,these
changes
Use synonyms
 made the
area
Use synonyms
 more developed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words changes, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
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