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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more prons to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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Introduction
The statement argues that some people prefer to live in a
house
Use synonyms
over
Correct word choice
rather than
show examples
 living in an apartment. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
On
Use the right word
One
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 of the main advantages to live in a
house
Use synonyms
 is that you have much more privacy. You have the entire
house
Use synonyms
 for yourself
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there is nobody right next door that you have
worrie
Correct your spelling
to worry
 about.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,having your own
house
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 means that you have your own garden where you can grow flowers, vegetable and herbs if you want, which makes cooking more exciting and your place much more
invinting
Correct your spelling
inviting
 to have friends over for a garden party.
Body paragraph 2
A disadvantage is that it's much more expensive to buy your own
house
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 many families would wish they could afford it
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 are simply not able to get a
mortage
Correct your spelling
mortgage
 from the bank in order to purchase their own family home. Another disadvantage is that you will have much more
maintaince
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 and repair work to do if you have your own place.
Body paragraph 3
One advantage to life in an
apartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
 is that you can share the garage, and other common places like a gym or the water treatment plant with others.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you are running out of eggs or
butter
Punctuation problem
butter,
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 you can simply go next door and ask your neighbour if they can lend you some.
This
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 can
also
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 lead to a sense of community and
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 that you
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have if living in a
house
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. One of the disadvantages is that your space is smaller than if you
would own
Wrong verb form
owned
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 your own
house
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
 that you will have to consider your neighbours and reduce the sound volume at night.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 apartments might be more suitable for people without children, I believe that the advantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living in a
house
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages, particularly for families with children.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly in the first part. Say if a house has more good points than bad points, and give your main reasons.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some need more support. For example, explain why a garden and more space are more important for a family than the lower cost of an apartment.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The point about asking a neighbour for eggs is friendly, but it is not a strong reason for choosing an apartment.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: house good points, house bad points, apartment good points, apartment bad points, then a final view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one clear main idea. Then add one or two sentences that explain it, before giving an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Use simple words such as “However”, “For this reason”, “Also”, and “As a result” to show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each paragraph. In the apartment paragraph, shared places, help from neighbours, and noise are all useful points, but explain how they affect daily life.
task response
You discuss both homes and apartments, and you give a clear final view that a house is better for families with children.
task response
You use relevant main ideas, such as privacy, a garden, cost, repair work, smaller space, and noise.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph clearly gives your answer to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Furthermore”, “In addition”, “Another disadvantage”, and “Overall” help the reader follow the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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