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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the number of tourists
travelled
Correct pronoun usage
who travelled
show examples
 to three varied European spots from 1987 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the given
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 the lowest rate
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the lake, the highest one was the
coast
Use synonyms
 area
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the mountains started as the second
popular
Rephrase
most popular
show examples
 visitors' destination. In general, by 2007
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
all three figures increased in attendance. The
Use synonyms
lacke
Correct your spelling
lack of
 place started with ten
thousand
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 in 1987 and was increasing gradually before the
rocker
Correct word choice
rapid
show examples
 rise in 2002. After
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 a peak of 70-75
thousand
Use synonyms
 people in
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
 it dropped to 50
thousand
Use synonyms
 by 2007. The
mountains
Check wording
mountain
show examples
 rate in 1987 remained steady until a slight climb from 20
thousand
Use synonyms
 to almost 30
thousand
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
in 1997. Over the next two
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 it marginally changed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in 2007 it
has
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
finally
Linking Words
rised
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 over 30
thousand
Use synonyms
 people. The
coast
Use synonyms
as
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the most common choice in 1987and 40
thousand
Use synonyms
 visitors had a drop in 1982 to 30
thousand
Use synonyms
. The popularity significantly increased in 1997 and remained stable until
hit
Correct pronoun usage
it hit
show examples
 a high of 70
thousand
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 in 2007. Comparing
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 most chosen European areas, the
coast
Use synonyms
 was faced with the
lacke
Use synonyms
 between 1997 and 2002.
After
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 the
lacke
Use synonyms
 overtakes the
coast
Use synonyms
 position for several years, but
at the end
Linking Words
 distantly trailed behind by the
lacke
Use synonyms
. The mountains were overtaken by the
Use synonyms
lacke
Correct your spelling
lack of attention
 at the beginning of the given period 1978-1982.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words coast, lacke, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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