IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure center that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to local council. In the letter give details of how you and your friends use the center. explain why the sports and leisure center is important for the local community. describe the possible effects on local people if the center closes. write 150 words.

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter on behalf of my whole neighbourhood to express our concerns after hearing the news that the council is considering a permanent closure of a society
centre
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 area.
This
Linking Words
 leisure
centre
Use synonyms
 is being used by the whole community on a regular basis.
This
Linking Words
 is the only play area we have that provides a suitable and safe place for different sports like badminton, volleyball and swimming. All of my friends spend most of their leisure time at
this
Linking Words
 facility , and we
also
Linking Words
 conduct regular tasks like cleaning the
centre
Use synonyms
, watering the plants and conducting small tournaments on the weekends. It serves not only kids but
also
Linking Words
 adults. They use the gym equipment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is still perfectly running , and elderly people use
this
Linking Words
 area for evening meet-ups and hangouts. These premises
also
Linking Words
 provide a safe space for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small community functions and meetings. It was shocking to hear for all of us that the most important facility in our neighbourhood is about to close. There will be no space for the kids to play nearby except for
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 might force children to play on the streets, which might lead to accidents and damages on the private properties. To prevent all
this
Linking Words
 chaos, our community is ready to do a fundraiser for the development , and it will keep
this
Linking Words
 leisure
centre
Use synonyms
 running. I can coordinate with all the seniors for a small meeting with you, if you want to pay a visit for a better understanding. We wish to hear back from you soon with an alternative plan to prevent
this
Linking Words
 damage. With regards, Aman

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts with clear detail. You explain how people use the centre and why it matters, but add one or two more clear effects of closing it, such as less exercise or more older people feeling alone.
task response
Keep the name of the place the same. Use “sports and leisure centre” throughout, rather than “society centre” or “play area”.
task response
Use more formal words for a letter to the council. For example, write “community events” instead of “hangouts”, and “private property” instead of “private properties”.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: use of the centre, its value, the effects of closure, and a possible plan. Make links between ideas clearer with words such as “In addition”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. The second paragraph mixes sport use, free time, cleaning work, and events. Split these ideas or use shorter, clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar points that can affect clarity: write “in an area”, “for small community functions”, “perfectly functional”, and no space before commas or full stops.
task response
You clearly show that the centre is used by children, adults, and older people. This gives the council a strong reason to keep it open.
task response
Your idea of a fund-raiser and a meeting offers a helpful, practical answer rather than only making a complaint.
coherence and cohesion
The letter uses suitable paragraphs and has a clear opening and closing.
coherence and cohesion
The possible danger of children playing in the street is a clear and easy-to-understand point.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • council
  • center
  • sport
  • leisure
  • save
  • money
  • community
  • town
  • friends
  • use
  • play
  • swim
  • gym
  • club
  • team
  • healthy
  • safe
  • work
  • jobs
  • open
  • close
  • local
  • people
  • children
  • youth
  • travel
  • impact
  • support
  • please
  • thank
  • you
What to do next:
Look at other essays: