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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The Line
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
 gives information about the number of
shop
Use synonyms
closures
Use synonyms
 and openings in the period between 2011
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was
Record
Check wording
apply
show examples
a marked rise in 2011 to opening 8500 new
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 there was
Record
Check wording
apply
show examples
a Dramatic fall in 2013. In 2015,
was
Correct pronoun usage
it was
show examples
 the
lowist
Correct your spelling
lowest
year
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
closures shops
Correct word order
shop closures
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, but after one
Use synonyms
year
Punctuation problem
year,
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 there is a big change in the market
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In 2016,
Use synonyms
closures
Correct word order
shop closures increased
show examples
shop
Use synonyms
 increase to 5000, but
still it
Correct word order
it is still
show examples
 not worst like 2013
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In 2013,
the
Check wording
shop
show examples
closures
Use synonyms
shops jump
Wrong verb form
jumped
show examples
 to 7000. In 2011,
was
Correct pronoun usage
it was
show examples
 the highest
year
Use synonyms
 of opeaning
shop
Use synonyms
, there is 8500
shop
Use synonyms
,
the
Punctuation problem
with 8,500 shops. The
show examples
 next level after 2011 was 2014, there was 6000 shops, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 there is 2500 drop in the market
,
Punctuation problem
. While
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
year
Use synonyms
 was 2018, Decrase to only 3000
shop
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, closures, year with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • fluctuation
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • notable
  • comparable
  • speculate
  • external factors
  • increment
  • decrement
  • overall
  • composite
  • linear
  • net gain
  • net loss
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