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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that working from home is more beneficial for employees, while others think that it reduces productivity and creates more distractions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Many
individuals
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 have different opinions on whether telecommuting is beneficial. Some
individuals
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 believe that it offers greater flexibility and convenience,
whereas
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 others argue that it can create more problems and affect their
overall
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 productivity. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I believe that the suitability of remote
work
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 depends on the
person's profession they choose
Correct word order
profession the person chooses
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, remote
work
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 provides a high level of flexibility, which allows
individuals
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 to manage their daily routine more effectively. When
individuals
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 start
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work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
home
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,
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then
Rephrase
apply
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they do not need to commute long distances,
as
Correct word choice
which
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this
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 helps them to save a significant amount of time and money.
Consequently
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, they can organise their tasks more comfortably and maintain their
work
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-life more balanced and better.
For instance
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, many office workers report that remote
work
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 really helps them to complete their assignments on time without the stress of travelling.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, remote
work
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 can reduce productivity because employees often struggle to maintain a professional working environment. When
individuals
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 are at
home
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,
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then
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apply
show examples
they need a proper connection, a quiet place, and office equipment, which the
home
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 environment does not always provide.
Therefore
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, workers often face technical glitches, a noisy background, and poor
connection
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connections
show examples
, which may not only reduce their concentration but
also
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 negatively affect their
overall
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 performance.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I think choosing remote
work
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 should be a personal decision based on the nature of one's profession.
For example
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, writers and computer workers can easily focus on their tasks
while
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 staying at
home
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.
However
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, some occupations require physical presence
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as doctors who have to cure the illness,
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 lives, and take care of their patients,
whereas
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 restaurant owners have to serve fresh meals to their customers to maintain goodwill.

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. To make your view stronger, say more clearly that home work is good for some jobs but not for others, and explain why.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: home work saves time, but home can cause noise and poor internet. Add one more clear point about distractions, such as children, house work, or social media.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Use a more real and clear example, such as a writer who can work alone at home, or a doctor who must see people in a hospital.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this same plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or have extra words. For example, write: "When people work from home, they do not need to travel long distances." Do not add "then" after "when".
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more natural. You can use simple links such as "This means that", "As a result", and "For this reason".
coherence and cohesion
Check unclear word groups. For example, change "maintain their work-life more balanced and better" to "keep a better work-life balance". Change "the person's profession they choose" to "the type of job a person has".
task response
You discuss the good side and the bad side of working from home, and you give a clear final view.
task response
The points about saving travel time and money, as well as noise and internet problems, are on-topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your essay easily.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and they match the question well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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