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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to both boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe that teaching cooking is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
People have different opinions regarding what should be included in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum. Some
supports
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support
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 the addition of cooking
classes
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while
Linking Words
 others believe it is unnecessary. I believe that cooking can be added in curriculum
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 more importance should be given to core
subjects
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
schools
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 should offer cooking
classes
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 is to add variety in
student's
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students'
show examples
 daily learning experience. Many
schools
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has
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have
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 started to
educate
Verb problem
teach
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 lessons
of
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on
show examples
 different ingredients, receipes and
usage
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the usage
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 of various kitchen utensils. These
classes
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 allow
students
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 to learn the importance of food and exposure to diverse cuisines,
also
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 offering them an opportunity to learn something different from their regular curriculum. When
children
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 explore unique techniques and experiments in their school environment, they can improve their
overall
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 performance effectively.
Body paragraph 2
Others who disagree about cooking lessons place more emphasis on general academic
subjects
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. Since most
high wage
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high-wage
 jobs are available in science, maths and business
classes
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, which can greatly contribute to
students
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'
career
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careers
show examples
 in their future. Cooking
classes
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 may distract
students
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 from their career paths and take valuable time from academic studies.
Children
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 can learn basic cooking in their homes with
parents
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their parents
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
schools
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 should focus more on core
subjects
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 that are directly related to
employement
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employment
 opportunities.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion,
schools
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 should adopt a balanced approach.
This
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 is because
children
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 become bored when they learn similar topics repeatedly. If different
subjects
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 are included in
academic
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the academic
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 syllabus,
students
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 can maintain their interest in
main
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the main
show examples
subjects
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while
Linking Words
 learning different skills.
This
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 strategy will help
children
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 enjoy learning and develop new abilities.
Conclusion
In conclusion, educating
students
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 about diverse skills can make them capable of dealing with various challenges in daily life.
Although
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 some believe that cooking is necessary to make
children
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 independent, the importance of other
sujects
Correct your spelling
subjects
 is
also
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 vital.
Therefore
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, I believe that
students
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 should be provided with the opportunity to develop both academic knowledge and practical skills.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why cooking is an essential life skill, not only a fun change from normal lessons.
task response
Your main idea is clear: schools can teach cooking, but core subjects should have more time. Say how this could work, for example, one cooking class each week or a short course for all students.
task response
Add a real and specific example from your life or knowledge. For example, you could describe a student who learned to make a simple, healthy meal and then used this skill at home.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one view, the other view, your view, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first main paragraph more focused. It starts with variety in learning, then moves to food, other cultures, and better school work. Choose one main point and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to show the reason for each idea, such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “However”. Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the main ideas. For example, use “cooking lessons” or “cooking classes” throughout, rather than changing the phrase many times.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and state your own opinion.
task response
Your opinion stays the same from the introduction to the conclusion: practical skills matter, but main school subjects need more time.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear job, and the conclusion brings your main view together.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “One major reason”, “Others”, “In my opinion”, and “In conclusion” help guide the reader through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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