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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The shown bar chart provides data on the total quantity of minutes of telephone calls in the United Kingdom between 1995 and 2002. The calls are divided into three categories and are denoted in billions.

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The bar chart provides information about the total
quantity
Check wording
number
show examples
 of minutes of telephone calls in the UK between 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,national and international-fixed
line
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
mobiles
Replace the word
mobile
 call
type
Check wording
types
show examples
 experience
a
Replace the word
an increasing
increase
Use synonyms
 trend,
while
Linking Words
local-fixed
Correct word order
local fixed-line
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line
Use synonyms
 showed
gradually
Replace the word
a gradual
 downward trend.
Although
Linking Words
local
Correct article usage
the local
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-
Punctuation problem
apply
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 fixed
line
Use synonyms
 had
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend ,
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1995 to
1999
Punctuation problem
1999,
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this
Linking Words
 period it outraced
sweden
Capitalize the proper name
Sweden
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.
Then
Linking Words
,
Local-fixed
Correct determiner usage
the local fixed
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line
Use synonyms
 at 2000
around
Verb problem
was around
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 85 billions to 2002 decline to approximately 72
bilions
Correct your spelling
billion
. National and international- fixed
line
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1995 to 2002 gradually
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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, it
around
Verb problem
was around
show examples
 38
billlions
Check wording
billion
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 in 1995, and
then
Linking Words
 it
continue growth
Wrong verb form
continued to grow
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,
about
Verb problem
reaching about
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 60 billion,
it
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
22
Change preposition
of 22
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billiion
Correct your spelling
billion
.
Mobiles all
Check wording
Mobile
show examples
 calls
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the
most low
Replace the word
lowest
 around 4 billion in 1995,but it maintrained grow up. It had
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
increase
Use synonyms
 in 2001,around 49
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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, but there had slightlly drop in
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
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 around 45
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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