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Band 5.5

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. write 150 words

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The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. write 150 words
The provided maps depict the layout of
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 in 2008 and its present state, illustrating the physical changes that occurred in the infrastructure during that period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
variety of main changes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have altered the science
park
Use synonyms
. It is established
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 research and development
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
while
Verb problem
is for the
show examples
 extension of
cyber security
Correct your spelling
cybersecurity
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public transportation infrastructure. First of all, the grassland was occupied
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 science
park
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
west north
Correct your spelling
northwest
 side, which constructed
research
Correct article usage
a research
show examples
 and development
facilitity
Correct your spelling
facility
instead
Linking Words
 of
grassland
Correct article usage
the grassland
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
it is demolished
Correct word order
apply
show examples
the reception that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is next to the
officers
Check wording
officers'
show examples
 building
to
Verb problem
is being demolished to
show examples
 build
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
hup
Correct your spelling
hub
 in
east
Correct article usage
the east
show examples
 north side.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the  current size of cyber security is bigger
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 the size in 2008, which expanded
through
Change preposition
beyond
show examples
 the north of the former building.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, the car
park
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 reduced
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 space to be smaller.
However
Linking Words
, it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
replaced the IT centre
by
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 Innovation centre throughout the period,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it added the main road for station passes
front
Change preposition
in front
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 innovation.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • science park
  • industrial site
  • research facility
  • laboratory building
  • office complex
  • visitor centre
  • a newly constructed building
  • a former building
  • be demolished
  • be replaced by
  • be converted into
  • be expanded
  • be modernised
  • road network
  • pedestrian path
  • cycle lane
  • car park
  • public transport access
  • green space
  • on the northern side
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