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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?

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Introduction
Some studies demonstrate that some actions are valuable for health,
while
Linking Words
 other activities are negative. Despite knowing that millions of individuals have a bad routine.
This
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 essay will discuss what are the reasons for
this
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 and what the countermeasure
is
Verb problem
apply
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.
Body paragraph 1
Some useless habits have a profoundly negative impact on
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
 lives and the way they think. The consequences of being inactive are considerable for
people
Use synonyms
's well-being.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who are sedentary and use their phones are more likely to feel stress and depression
due to
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 an unhealthy lifestyle.
Moreover
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, leisure hours can lead society to do detrimental things, which can negatively impact
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 bloom. It can be solved by using
time
Use synonyms
 properly and not wasting it.
Body paragraph 2
People
Use synonyms
 who are busy with a positive lifestyle are more likely to be healthy and fit. Doing exercise regularly and excellent habits have a significant effect on
people
Use synonyms
's lives espacially on their health.
For example
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,
people
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 who have a gym membership and commited with it regularly tend to be healthier than those who are sedentary daily.
This
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 is because they used their moments suitably and bridged the
time
Use synonyms
 gap with something beneficial.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, negative habits are directly related to an empty life, which can be solved by bridging the
time
Use synonyms
 gap and doing exercise consistently.
Conclusion
In conclusion, millions of
people
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 are engaged in unusful routins
due to
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 they don't use their
time
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 perfectly, the mismanaged of
time
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 can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle. The address of
this
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 is the commitment to gym workouts.

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task response
Answer both parts in more depth. Give clear causes, such as stress, lack of time, low cost fast food, and habit. Then give more than one clear way to help, such as school lessons, health ads, safe parks, and help from doctors.
task response
Keep the main idea close to the question. The essay talks a lot about free time, but unhealthy acts can also come from work stress, money, family habits, and easy access to bad food or drugs.
task response
Make each example more real and clear. For example, say that long phone use may cut sleep and make people less active. Then explain how this may harm health.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer four-part plan: introduction, causes, ways to help, and conclusion. Put all causes in one body part and all ways to help in the next body part.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main point. Do not move from causes to answers in the same part. This will make the link between ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links in a natural way: “One cause is…”, “Another cause is…”, “To deal with this…”, and “For this reason…”. Avoid repeating “For example” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last part sum up both the causes and the ways to help. At present, it mainly repeats the idea of gym work and does not cover all the points in the essay.
task response
You try to answer both the causes and the ways to help, and you give an example about people who do regular exercise.
task response
Your main message is clear: being active and using time well can help people stay healthy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can see the basic shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”, to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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