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Writing Samples
Band 1

In som countries,it is common practice for young people (13-17yrs) to get a part time job in the summer.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of teenage employment.

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate regarding
about
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apply
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what is
teenage's
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a teenager's
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 autonomy and
responsability
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responsibility
. There are a myriad of benefits
as well as
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 drawbacks of young
people
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people's
show examples
 employment. Both the pros and cons are elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
Examining the brighter side of the question about teenage get a
par time
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part-time
 job, the foremost one is the
contribuition
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contribution
 that
this
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acivity
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activity
 brought to
development
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the development
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social
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of social
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 and emotional
.
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skills.
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 When a kid
pass
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passes
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 to get
atribuitions
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attributions
 in another place,
out side
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outside
 your home and to another peoples can't
your
Verb problem
be your
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 family,
promove
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promote
 more
oportunities
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opportunities
 to
learning
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learn
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 about the financials, autonomy and various
fuctions
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functions
.
Body paragraph 2
On the contrary
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, there are darker sides of, in disfunction familiar relationships is
comum
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common
 that kids don't have
the
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a
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 choice
a less
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but
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 to work.
To begin
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 with the
comand
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command
Body paragraph 3
infantil
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infantile
 job and private to
experiance
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experience
 the events that
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
,

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task response
You start to discuss both good and bad sides, but the essay is not finished. Write a full paragraph on the good sides and a full paragraph on the bad sides. Then add a short ending that gives your main view.
task response
Make each main idea clear. For example, a summer job can help young people learn about money, time, and work. On the other hand, too much work can make them tired and leave less time for study, rest, and friends.
task response
Give a simple example for each side. For instance, a teen may save money for school, while another teen may miss family time because of long work hours.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: opening, good sides, bad sides, and ending. At the moment, the last part stops in the middle, so the reader cannot follow your full answer.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one clear main sentence. Then explain it in two or three short sentences. Do not put many different ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy link words correctly: 'First,' 'For example,' 'However,' 'Also,' and 'In conclusion.' Avoid unclear parts such as 'darker sides of' without saying what the bad side is.
task response
You understand that teenage work has both good and bad sides, which directly answers the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening tells the reader that you will look at both sides, and you try to use paragraph links such as 'On the contrary' and 'Overall.'
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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