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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, men and women are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In modern life, it is
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
 that
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 are working full-time
job
Check wording
jobs
show examples
. There are many cultures
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 tolerate
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the concept of sharing
household
Use synonyms
tasks
Use synonyms
 between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
women
Use synonyms
 should stay at home and lookafter for the children
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 to provide money for the family's needs.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, many
nations
Check wording
nations'
show examples
 perspective it is fair that
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 should
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
household
Use synonyms
tasks
Use synonyms
 between them.
there
Capitalize the word
There
show examples
 is a particular
work
Use synonyms
for
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have to do.
Use synonyms
women
Capitalize the word
Women
show examples
 who
work
Use synonyms
 full-time
job
Check wording
jobs
show examples
 don't have enough time for their children.
For example
Linking Words
, there are basic duties like cooking, teaching, cleaning and
women
Use synonyms
 have to do these
tasks
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, it is
diffecult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to
work
Use synonyms
 and do
tasks
Use synonyms
 at the same time for both
women
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 and
men
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.
Forthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, these
tasks
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 are enough for
Use synonyms
women's sharing
Wrong verb form
women to share
show examples
household
Use synonyms
tasks
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, providing excellent life experience for the family is something
diffecult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 for
men
Use synonyms
. Regardless share
household
Use synonyms
tasks
Use synonyms
, working
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
 job is enough for
men
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
 is the major mission for
men
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their limited time and anxiety of working many hours per day.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 have to concentrate
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their jobs because career
succeed
Replace the word
success
 is directly related to
family's
Correct article usage
the family's
show examples
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have particular
tasks
Use synonyms
 between them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 each of them can share by providing support, money, and education for the family membership. Even though its diffecult to manage
this
Linking Words
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
,
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 can
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
tasks
Use synonyms
 perfectly and choose which task they
able
Verb problem
are able
show examples
 to do for the family.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep the same view in the whole essay. You say men and women should share home work, but then say women should stay at home and do it. Choose one clear view.
task response
Answer the key idea more fully: if both people work full time, explain who should cook, clean, care for children, and why. Give clear reasons for each main point.
task response
Use real, clear examples. For example, write about a couple who both work and make a plan: one cooks while the other cleans or cares for the children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and an ending. This is a good start. However, the first main part says tasks should be shared, while the next part says men do not need to share. Make the ideas match.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then give a reason and an example. Do not put several different ideas in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show the order of ideas: “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “However,” and “In conclusion.” Make sure “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” show two clear sides of the same point.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear. Keep sentences short and direct. For example: “Both parents work full time, so both should do some home tasks.”
task response
You give a clear topic focus: work, money, children, and home tasks. These are all linked to the question.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear essay shape with an opening, two body paragraphs, and a final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion,” which helps the reader see your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender Equality
  • Household responsibilities
  • Work-life balance
  • Traditional gender roles
  • Modern perspectives
  • Societal norms
  • Financial stability
  • Emotional support
  • Time management
  • Efficiency
  • Evolving roles
  • Shared duties
  • Partnership
  • Stress reduction
  • Leisure activities
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