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Writing Samples
Band 3

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time, but now they can live in many different places. What are the reasons? Is this a postive or negative development?

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Introduction
In ancient times, people stayed at one particular place for a significant amount of time;
however
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, many prefer living in different areas. There are several reasons for
such
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 a development
and
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, and
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 it has a positive impact on individuals.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, people migrate to a better place in
the
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search of new opportunities and amenities. To illustrate, remote areas like small towns and villages
,
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apply
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lacks
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lack
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 job opportunities and essential facilities that might be a
neccessity
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necessity
 to the locals.
This
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 is because
health-care
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healthcare
 facilities and job placements are available in modern cities, so locals move to developed areas for their growth and success.
Body paragraph 2
Another reason for
such
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 a trend is to explore new
place
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places
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 and embrace new
culture
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cultures
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. Learning
new
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a new
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 language
,
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and
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 meeting various kinds of people
,
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apply
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helps to expand our horizons by inculcating unusual things in life.
For example
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, whenever we plan a trip to another country, we are in the perception of gaining
an
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apply
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additional knowledge about the history of that city. Which will
evevntually
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eventually
 make us multilingual, extrovert and confident to face an unknown world.
Conclusion
Overall
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, earlier migration of the remote individuals in search of a better lifestyle and
an
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overall
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 development is definitely a positive way of succeeding in life.
Although
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,
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apply
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 some may not believe in
such
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 methods,
but
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apply
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those who are ambitious and
wanting
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want
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 to achieve great things could consider visiting numerous places.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and say it is positive, but explain more clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Keep the focus on living in different places, not only on moving from villages to cities or taking trips. Add one clear bad point, such as being far from family, then show why you still think the change is good.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, a nurse may move to a city for work and then have better care and pay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Make the link between each idea smoother with simple words such as “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part about one main idea. The second body part moves from living in new places to travel. Explain how long-term living in another place helps people learn a new way of life.
coherence and cohesion
Do not begin a new sentence with “Which”. Join it to the sentence before it: “This can make people more open and sure of themselves.”
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer ending. Say again that people move for work, services, and new life experience, and state why these good points make this a positive change.
task response
You give two clear reasons: better work and services, and learning about new people and ways of life.
task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “To begin with”, “For example”, and “Overall” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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