Nowdays people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does this have more advantages or disadvantages ?

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Introduction
The topic of using more
consumer
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goods
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like
refrigerators
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or washing machines
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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sparked
consideration
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a
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debate in recent years.Some
people
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believe that using
consumer
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goods
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like
refrigerators
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or washing machines
have
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has
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several
benefits
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that will affect
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people life
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people's lives
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,
while
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others believe that their drawbacks exceed their
benefits
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.
This
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essay will explore the advantages and disadvantages of using
consumer
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goods
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.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,the major benefit of using
consumer
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goods
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is to do daily
works
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work
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faster than
works
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working
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by
hands
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hand
show examples
.
For instance
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,if a woman has a big family ,the washing machine will assist her to wash many
dishs
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dishes
and save the woman time .
Furthermore
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,there are many
consumer
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goods
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that make our
life
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lives
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easy and maintain
the
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apply
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food .
For example
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,the
refrigerators
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preserve food and make it edible .Meanwhile,using
consumer
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goods
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save
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saves
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people
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time.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,despite having several
benefits
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of using
consumer
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goods
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,there are many drawbacks as well.First,using
consumer
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goods
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will increase the
electricy
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electricity
,which
affect
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affects
show examples
people
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financially.
For instance
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,if a man
lose
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loses
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his job,he can not
puy
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pay
the
electric
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electricity
.
In addition
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,many
consumer
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goods
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are dangerous.
For example
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,if a child touch electric oven,the child might get burned.
However
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,the
consumer
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goods
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might break down and can not
fix it
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be fixed
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.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
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using
consumer
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goods
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,
such
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as washing
machine
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machines
show examples
and
refrigerators
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offer significant
benefits
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of
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to
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people life
Check wording
people's lives
show examples
,it is important to acknowledge the drawbacks ,
such
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as affecting children on bad way and
impact
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impacting
show examples
people
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financially.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph: say if the good points are greater than the bad points, or the other way round. Your essay now talks about both sides, but your own view is not fully clear.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how saving time can help a family, and explain why power bills or safety risks may be serious. This will make your ideas more complete.
task response
Use examples that fit the item. A washing machine washes clothes, not dishes. Also, say that a broken machine can be hard or costly to fix.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Keep this shape, but make each paragraph focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “However” does not fit before “the consumer goods might break down.” Use “Finally” or “Also” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea again. You say that these goods save time twice in the first body paragraph. Add a new point instead, such as less hard work or better health.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ending match your view. If you think the good points are greater, say this clearly in the last sentence and give a short reason.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of using home goods, and you use examples such as refrigerators, washing machines, power bills, and child safety.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because you use clear paragraph breaks and signals such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • now
  • many
  • people
  • buy
  • more
  • goods
  • fridge
  • washing
  • machine
  • save
  • time
  • life
  • food
  • keep
  • safe
  • comfort
  • cost
  • money
  • price
  • bill
  • energy
  • power
  • repair
  • use
  • waste
  • pollution
  • environment
  • choice
  • option
  • first
  • second
  • also
  • but
  • so
  • then
  • in
  • the
  • and
  • to
  • of
  • a
  • is
  • are
  • be
  • have
  • there
  • their
  • what
  • which
  • you
  • your
  • our
  • can
  • do
  • will
  • may
  • should
  • about
  • this
  • that
  • when
  • where
  • how
  • why
  • also
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • end
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