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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that computer and internet are important in children study,but others think students can learn effectively in school and with teacher. Discuss both sides and give your own opinions.

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Introduction
The integration of digital technology
intoeducation
Correct your spelling
into education
 has fundamentally transformed the way young generations acquire knowledge.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that computers and the Internet are indispensable tools for
children
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's education,others contend that effective learning can be delivered through in-school lessons with
teschers
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teachers
.
This
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 essay will critically examine both perspectives before presenting my own view.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, online tools and
digitai
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digital
 equipment offer
children
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 unparalleled flexibility and access to a vast array of learning resources. The Internet grants youngsters instant access to educational videos, digital libraries and
interative
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interactive
 courses,which go far beyond the content covered in textbooks. Learners are able to revisit difficult topics at their own pace and explore topics they are curious about,fostering independent learning skills.
For instance
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,
children
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 can use online platforms to practise foreign language listening outside class,which supplements classroom learning efficiently.
Body paragraph 2
Conversely
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,traditional face-to-face teaching at school has irreplaceable merits.Professional teachers can monitor students' emotional states and academic progress in real time, offering personalised feedback and
correctng misunderstangings
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correcting misunderstandings
 immediately. Apart from knowledge transmission, schools are social environments where
children
Use synonyms
 collaborate with peers, practise communication and build teamwork skills.These social competencies
cannnot
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cannot
 be fully developed through isolated online study.
In addition
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, teachers help young learners maintain discipline and form positive learning attitudes, which is vital for
chidren
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children
 at an early age.
Conclusion
In my opinion, computers and the internet should serve as valuable auxiliary tools rather than a replacement for formal school education. The optimal
pedaggical
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pedagogical
 approach involves a synergistic combination of digital resources and teacher-led instruction. By leveraging technology to enhance, rather than supplant, traditional teaching methods, educators can provide a more enriching and effective learning experience for all students.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make the ideas even stronger, explain why school learning should be the main part for young children in a little more detail.
task response
Your example about language listening is clear and linked to the topic. Add one more real example for school learning, such as a teacher helping a child who does not understand a maths task.
task response
Your final view is clear: computers and the internet should support, not take the place of, teachers. Keep this direct position from the start to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and your view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. You already use words like “On the one hand”, “Conversely”, and “In addition”. You can also use simple links such as “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason” when needed.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences have several ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences when you explain an important point. This will make the meaning even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check spacing and spelling carefully, especially in the introduction and in key words. Small errors can slow the reader down.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain the value of online learning, the value of teachers and schools, and your own view.
task response
Your main points are relevant and well chosen. Self-paced study, access to learning tools, teacher feedback, and social skills all fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one clear main idea and then explains it with supporting detail.
coherence and cohesion
The ending gives a clear summary of your view and connects well with the ideas in the body paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • interactive learning
  • educational games
  • virtual simulations
  • traditional textbooks
  • structured learning environments
  • real-time feedback
  • personalized guidance
  • social interaction
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • broader range of knowledge
  • engagement
  • discipline
  • learning objectives
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