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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Rapid
advance
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advances
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 in technology changed the way
how
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apply
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people
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comunicate
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communicate
 with each other. Nowadays,
people
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 can talk and share
datas
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data
 with their friends and family more quickly and easily
and
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, and
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 I believe the positive sides
outweight
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outweigh
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 the drawbacks.
Body paragraph 1
Cutting-edge technologies made it
more
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apply
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faster and easier to interact and maintain long-distance relationships. At present, individuals can communicate instantly through messages, calls or video calls.
In addition
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, there are a variety of social
media
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where
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platforms where
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people
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 can share news, send text or photos, and even meet new
people
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. Compared with past times, when
people
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have
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had
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 to send letters
and
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, and
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 it took several days to
got
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get
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 the
meassage
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message
.
For instance
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,
people
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 who live in
different
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a different
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 city or abroad can simply communicate with their family or friends through phones, particularly by social
media
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it
also
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 have harmfull effects, including less face-to-face
communication
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 and superficial relationships.
People
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 may prefer texting
instead
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 of meeting in person.
As a result
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,
this
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 can reduce meaningful conversations or make relationships
become
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apply
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less personal.
Moreover
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, excessive online
communication
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 may reduce opportunities to
pracatis
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practice
 face-to-face
communication
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.
Thus
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, some
people
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 may become less comfortable with real-life conversations.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 allows
people
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 to have hundreds of online connections, but many may not be genuine friendships. Meeting only by
socia
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social
media
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 can not help
people
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to
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apply
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make lots of close friends. To illustrate, I think
people
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 should meet in person, experience different situations, have time together to get close, and it is slightly boring to only interact online.
Conclusion
In conclusion, advancements in technology had
great
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a great
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 impact on
peoples
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people's
show examples
communication
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.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
 online interaction
reduce
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reduces
show examples
 meeting in person and make realtionships more inefficient, I believe its benefits,
such
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 as quick and convenient
communication
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 outwheight its disadvantages.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. You explain how phones and social media change contact, and you give a clear view that this is mainly good. To make your answer stronger, explain more about the types of relationships people make, such as family ties, work ties, and new online friends.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some need more support. For example, say why fast contact helps a family feel close when they live far away. Also explain why online-only contact may not build deep friendship.
task response
Your example about people in other cities or countries is on topic. Make it more real and clear: for example, a parent can see a child by video call each week. Avoid using “I think people should” as an example; it sounds more like advice than proof.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Each body part has one main focus, which makes the answer easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts are not full sentences, such as “Compared with past times, when people have to send letters...” Join this idea to the sentence before it, or make it a full sentence. This will make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “On the other hand”, “As a result”, and “Moreover” are helpful, but do not add too many in one part. Also make the last sentence match your view: say that the bad effects are real, but the good effects are greater.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same. You use “technology”, “online communication”, “social media”, and “phones”. This is fine, but make clear when you mean all technology and when you mean social media only.
task response
You clearly state your view in the opening and repeat it in the ending: technology brings more good than bad.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, with useful points about fast contact and less in-person time.
coherence and cohesion
The four-part structure is clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs use helpful topic ideas, such as long-distance contact and less face-to-face communication.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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