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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subject like Sciences and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In my opinion, both
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 are important in college.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, teaching history is crucial for students to build a strong foundation in the society
idenity
Correct your spelling
identity
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, science and techolgy
also
Linking Words
 crucial for improvement. Many fields need
expert
Check wording
experts
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 in these sectors. Scince ecpicelly in health care will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to
a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthier people

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task response
Discuss both views in full. Explain why History is important and why Science and Technology are important. Then give your own clear view.
task response
Add more main ideas. For History, you can write about learning from the past and knowing a country’s story. For Science and Technology, you can write about health, jobs, and daily life.
task response
Give a real or clear example for each view. For example, History can help people understand past wars. Science can help doctors find new ways to treat sick people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, History view, Science and Technology view, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Start with a clear first sentence, then explain it, and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show the order of your ideas: First, However, For example, Also, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Write a conclusion. Say again that both subjects matter, but clearly state which one you think should have more time at school.
task response
You give your own view that both subjects are important.
task response
You have useful ideas about History, health care, and the need for skilled people.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Furthermore” and “Moreover” show that you are trying to link your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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