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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the number of people in two age groups (18-39 and 40+) participating in marathons in one country from 2008 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The table shows the number of people in two age groups (18-39 and 40+) participating in marathons in one country from 2008 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The table displays information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of candidates in two
diffierent
Correct your spelling
different
 age groups who
participate
Wrong verb form
participated
show examples
 in
marathon
Correct article usage
a marathon
show examples
 in a specific country between 2008 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
classified from
Correct word choice
aged
show examples
 18 to 39
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest
participating
Replace the word
participants
 in
marathon
Correct article usage
the marathon
show examples
 over the five years
higher
Punctuation problem
, higher
show examples
 than
people
Use synonyms
 who
aged
Verb problem
were
show examples
 40 and
more
Correct word choice
older
show examples
. In general, both age groups witnessed an increase
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the rate of increasing varying moderately among them. As the table shows,
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 18 and 39 started at 1.200
people
Use synonyms
 in 2008,
then
Linking Words
 showed an increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 50
people
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 rose
sligtly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 to 1.500 in 2010, and continued to grow until the end of the period with 1.750, which was the greatest
number
Use synonyms
 ever reached during that period with around 1.750. Focusing on
people
Use synonyms
 who
taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 part in
marathon
Correct article usage
the marathon
show examples
 that
classfied
Correct your spelling
classified
 40 years old and above, began with 800
people
Use synonyms
 in 2008, and
this
Linking Words
 figure
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to increase with
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
number
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 50
people
Use synonyms
 year by year,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a gradual rise to 1.050 in 2012. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of participants rose significantly throughout the given period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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