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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that economic growth is the only way to end poverty and hunger in the world, while others say that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
In recent times, the topic of many individuals think that goods and services are the one and only way to end starvation and poverty in the world, but some say economic
growth
Use synonyms
 is harmful
for
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 environment,
gathered
Wrong verb form
gathering
show examples
 significant attention and sparking
widespreadconcern
Correct your spelling
widespread concern
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to take a deep dive into its surrounding complexities and explore potential outcomes. In my opinion, I strongly beleived its is a important factor to strengthen economy rate.
Body paragraph 1
To embark upon, good amounts of product help in providing better health and mental stability.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is enhancing the opportunities among the people to develop their ideas in promoting the
growth
Use synonyms
 rate .
Also
Linking Words
, it is highly impactful in reducing poverty and starvation.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan , people tend to spend their precious time
to
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 company to enhance the
overall
Linking Words
growth
Use synonyms
 of the company , which is directly proportional to the economy of the country.
Body paragraph 2
On top of that, it sometimes causes harmful effects to nature ,
such
Linking Words
 as increasing water pollution, air pollution and soil pollution.
Thus
Linking Words
, it will contribute in detroritating the health of a person.
Likewise
Linking Words
, it reduces the multiple opportunities from the individuals by introducing some advanced technologies in the market.
For example
Linking Words
, in the USA, half of the work was done with the help of artificial intelligence.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, if we neglect the drawbacks and focus on building a stronger nation,
then
Linking Words
 it is a great idea to enhance the economic
growth
Use synonyms
 rate. Because of that, the number of people in poverty and hunger has reduced
within
Change preposition
over
show examples
 an estimated period.

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task response
Discuss both sides more fully. Explain how growth can give jobs, pay, food, and health care. Then explain how more factories, travel, and use of land can harm air, water, and nature.
task response
Make your own view clear from the start and keep it the same. You say growth is important, but you should also say that it must be clean and controlled, not growth at any cost.
task response
Use examples that clearly prove your point. The Japan example does not show how growth ends hunger or poverty. The USA example needs more detail about how AI may take jobs and affect poor people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduce both views and your view; explain the good side; explain the harm; then give a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. For example: “Economic growth can reduce poverty by creating jobs.” Then explain this idea and give one fitting example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way, such as “however”, “as a result”, “for example”, and “in contrast”. Avoid phrases like “To embark upon” and “On top of that” when they do not add a clear link.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the focus on economic growth. Phrases such as “good amounts of product” and “mental stability” are not clear enough, so the reader may not see the link to the main topic.
task response
You address both the good and bad sides of economic growth, and you give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a final paragraph, so the overall shape is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples from Japan and the USA to support your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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