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Band 7

šŸ“Š The graph below describes the use of fixed telephone lines, mobile phones, and internet between 1994 and 2005 in China.

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šŸ“Š The graph below describes the use of fixed telephone lines, mobile phones, and internet between 1994 and 2005 in China.
The line graph shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of people
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who used fixed telephone lines, mobile phones and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 between 1994 and 2005. The figures are given in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of people using all three services increased during the period. Mobile phone use showed the biggest increase,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 was the lowest throughout the period. In 1994, around 20
million
Use synonyms
 people used fixed telephone lines,
while
Linking Words
 there were almost no mobile phone
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
Internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of fixed-line
users
Use synonyms
 increased steadily and reached about 200
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000. After that, it continued to rise and reached 350
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. The
number
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 of mobile phone
users
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased gradually from around 50
million
Use synonyms
 in 1996 to 170
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000. It
then
Linking Words
 rose sharply, reaching about 250
million
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and 450
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
Internet
Use synonyms
 use started at around 20
million
Use synonyms
 in 1997 and increased steadily to about 185
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, internet, users, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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