IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the process of recycling glass bottles.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The diagram below shows the process of recycling glass bottles.
The given diagram shows the
overall
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
 of recycling
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
. From the
Use synonyms
process
Punctuation problem
process,
show examples
 it can be seen that there are 3 major stages
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 collecting wasted
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
, washing and grouping, and
then
Linking Words
 selling them at supermarkets.
Firstly
Linking Words
, wasted
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 are collected and brought to the collection
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 they are transported to be washed under water. After that,
bottles
Use synonyms
 are divided
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 3 different categories
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 clear,
gree
Correct your spelling
green
, and brown. In the
glass
Use synonyms
factory
Add a comma
factory,
show examples
 they categorised
bottles
Use synonyms
 are broken to different small pieces, so that they will be ready for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 steps. Smaller
glass
Use synonyms
 pieces go through the heating
process
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they are burnt in
furnace
Correct article usage
a furnace
show examples
 between 600 and 800 celsium degrees and the recycled liquid
glass
Use synonyms
 is made
at the end
Linking Words
 of
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
process
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Then
Punctuation problem
Then,
show examples
 new liquid
glass
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 poured into the
glass
Use synonyms
 mould in order to give them shapes.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 step
Use synonyms
bottles
Punctuation problem
, bottles
show examples
 are filled with sodas,
such
Linking Words
 as coca-cola which is shown in the
process
Use synonyms
 diagram. In the
last
Linking Words
stage
Punctuation problem
stage,
show examples
 filled
bottles
Use synonyms
 are sent to supermarkets as ready products for sale.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, glass, bottles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • collect, collection point, used bottles, truck, factory
  • wash, clean, sort, color, green, brown, clear
  • break, small pieces, melt, heat, machine
  • shape, new bottles, fill, send, shops, use again
  • first, next, then, after that, finally
What to do next:
Look at other essays: