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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that teenagers should focus on all school subjects while others think that they should concentrate on the subjects where they do the best or find the most interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some people believe that
teenagers
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 should
study
Use synonyms
 a wide range of school
subjects
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,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that they should focus on the
subjects
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 they are good at or find interesting. In my view, both sides are partly true. All students should
study
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 core
subjects
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such
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 as maths and language, but they should be free to choose the rest.
Body paragraph 1
Teenagers
Use synonyms
 often feel lost or unsure about their future, whether to go to college, gain work experience,
study
Use synonyms
 abroad or learn new skills. Most
teenagers
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 change their minds about the future, so studying a wide range of
subjects
Use synonyms
 keeps most college majors open to them.
For example
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, a student who stops studying science at fifteen may later decide to become a nurse, only to find they lack the qualifications to apply.
Therefore
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, focusing on all school
subjects
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 seems the right choice for them.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, some
teenagers
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 have a goal that was set in childhood, and they are reluctant to change it. Some parents
also
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 put additional stress on them, believing that a particular major is not profitable or that there are not enough jobs in that field.
Moreover
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,
this
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 stress can lead to depression and lower grades. Allowing these students to focus on the
subjects
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 linked to their goal would keep them motivated and reduce the pressure they face.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both views have merit. All
teenagers
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 should
study
Use synonyms
 core
subjects
Use synonyms
such
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 as maths and language, since many change their minds about the future, but they should be free to focus on the
subjects
Use synonyms
 they enjoy for the rest of their studies.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why core subjects are needed for every student, not only for students who may change their plans.
task response
Your main idea is clear: keep maths and language for all, then let students choose other subjects. Add one more clear reason for this plan, such as helping each student build skills for work and daily life.
task response
The example of a student who leaves science and later wants to be a nurse is useful and on topic. You could add a short example for the other view, such as a student who spends more time on art or music and does better because they enjoy it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one paragraph for each view, and an ending. Keep this plan in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
Most links between ideas are clear. In the first main paragraph, the last line says that studying all subjects is right for “them”. Say “for most teenagers” instead, so the meaning is more clear.
coherence and cohesion
The second main paragraph moves from goals to parents and stress quite fast. Use a clearer link: first explain why focus can help a student with a fixed goal; then explain how family stress can make this need stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more simple linking words to show cause and result, such as “because”, “as a result”, and “for this reason”. Do not use too many links in one paragraph.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you show both sides and state your own view in the opening and ending.
task response
Your ideas are relevant and easy to follow. The nursing example clearly shows a risk of leaving a subject too early.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main point, which makes the essay easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly repeats your main view and matches the ideas in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • versatility
  • critical thinking
  • well-rounded education
  • career paths
  • early specialization
  • cross-disciplinary skills
  • exposure to
  • motivation
  • deeper learning
  • expertise development
  • subject specialization
  • academic performance
  • mental health
  • balanced approach
  • core subjects
  • electives
  • passion-driven learning
  • foundational skills
  • individual student strengths
  • flexibility in education
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