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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the number of international tourists visiting three countries between 1995 and 2015

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The chart below shows the number of international tourists visiting three countries between 1995 and 2015
The bar chart depicts the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of international tourists
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 travelling to three countries - France,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
China
Correct word choice
and China
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 between 1995 and 2015. ​
Overall
Linking Words
, France was the most popular tourist
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 during a period. Meanwhile,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and China showed a similar pattern, with both gradually increasing. The figures are given in
Use synonyms
million
Replace the word
millions
. ​It can clearly be seen that most people wanted to visit France in
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
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 with 50
million
Use synonyms
 tourists, before reaching a peak of 90
in
Check wording
million in
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 2015,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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twice as high as the other two destinations. ​The next most famous tourist sites was USA
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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 started
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 from 45
million
Use synonyms
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to 75
million
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of year. The figure for China
was
Verb problem
apply
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accounted for the lowest grade at the beginning of the period with 20
million
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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. It
then
Linking Words
 increased significantly over the following twenty years before reaching 70
million
Use synonyms
 in the final year.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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