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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

These days, many university courses are offered through the internet. Some people think that online teaching has more advantages than conventional classroom teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant disadvantages. Do the benefits of online teaching outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
In the
last
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 few years, several universities have been introducing different types of online
courses
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. Many
people
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 completely agree with
this
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 way of advanced education,
while
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 others prefer
conventional
Correct article usage
the conventional
show examples
 classroom to
advantageous
Correct article usage
the advantageous
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 classroom. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my humble opinion. I think that the advantages of online
courses
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 outweigh the disadvantages because they provide many benefits to
students
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 and society.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason why some
people
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 like learning online is that online
courses
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 from universities are cheaper than face-to-face
courses
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, a large number of remote lectures are recorded by instructors and can be viewed at any time because some
students
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 work in the morning
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
that
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apply
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they prefer learning online in the evening.
For example
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, some
people
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 want to get a new qualification
then
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 get a promotion in their jobs.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are many drawbacks of online
teaching
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teaching,
show examples
such
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 as it lacks to direct connection with teachers, and
makes
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making
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 new relationships.
As a result
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, many parents spend a large amount of money on face-to-face
courses
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 because they believe that
students
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 accept many beneficial
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 from
connection
Replace the word
connecting
 with different
students
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.
As a result
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,
Correct article usage
the
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conventional classroom improves
personality
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the personality
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 of
students
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inside to
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in terms of
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 mental skills.
For instance
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, some
people
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 get a high score
Change preposition
in
show examples
in-person teaching because they can ask a teacher at any
lectures
Fix the agreement mistake
lecture
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both views are valid but from my perspective I prefer remote teaching to in-person teaching because learning online is essentials to
people
Use synonyms
’s different preference.

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task response
Answer the main question more fully. Say clearly why the good points are greater than the bad points, not only that you prefer online study.
task response
Develop each main idea. For online study, explain how lower cost and free time help students. For classroom study, explain how teacher help and other students can improve learning.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. For example, say that a worker can watch a saved class after work and does not need to pay for travel.
task response
Some ideas are not clear, such as “advanced education”, “beneficial behaviors”, and “mental skills”. Use simple, direct words to show exactly what you mean.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. However, the second body part needs a clearer main point and better order.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use “As a result” two times close together. Use links only when they show a real result. You can also use “For example”, “However”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the view in the first paragraph match the body. The first body part gives good points of online study, while the second gives bad points. State this plan clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the same idea. Choose “online teaching” or “online courses”, and choose “classroom teaching” or “face-to-face teaching”. Do not change terms too often.
coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence links. For example: “Online courses can cost less. They also let students study at a time that suits them.” This is clearer than one very long sentence.
task response
You give a clear view that online courses have more good points than bad points.
task response
You include points on cost, time, work, teacher contact, and meeting other students. These are all useful ideas for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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