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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often argued that
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should reduce the amount of packaging used for goods,
while
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 others believe that
customers
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 should avoid purchasing heavily packaged
products
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. Both views have some valid points.
However
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, I personally believe that
businesses
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 should bear greater
responsibility
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 because they
control
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 packaging decisions and can reduce
waste
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 on a much larger scale.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, I believe that
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should take greater
responsibility
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 for reducing excessive packaging. One important reason is that they
control
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 how
products
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 are packed and presented to consumers. If
businesses
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 remove unnecessary materials and replace them with recyclable alternatives, the amount of
waste
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 can be reduced at its source.
For instance
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, a large supermarket could replace excessive plastic wrapping with recyclable paper.
This
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 would reduce plastic
waste
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 and environmental pollution.
Furthermore
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, large
manufacturers
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 usually have the financial and technical resources to develop more sustainable packaging. By introducing recyclable materials across thousands of
products
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, they can create a much larger environmental benefit than individual consumers can achieve.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some people argue that
customers
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 should avoid buying
products
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 with excessive packaging. Their purchasing decisions can influence
businesses
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 because companies usually respond to changes in consumer demand. When shoppers consistently choose
products
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 with minimal or recyclable packaging,
supermarkets
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 may offer more environmentally friendly alternatives.
For example
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, if
customers
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 regularly choose
products
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 with simple recyclable packaging, a supermarket may increase its supply of
such
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 goods.
As a result
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, consumer behaviour can contribute to wider changes in the market.
Nevertheless
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,
customers
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 cannot directly
control
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 how
products
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 are designed and packaged.
Although
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 responsible purchasing is useful, it should complement rather than replace the
responsibility
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 of
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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customers
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 can encourage
businesses
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 to reduce packaging through their purchasing choices, I believe that
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should bear the greater
responsibility
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. They have direct
control
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 over packaging decisions and can reduce environmental
waste
Use synonyms
 on a much larger scale.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer even stronger, add one more clear reason why shops should act first, such as laws, cost, or the need to keep food safe.
task response
Your examples fit your main ideas, but they are quite general. Use one more real and clear example, such as fruit sold in plastic when it could be sold loose.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, one side, the other side, and end. This makes it easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are used well, such as “On the one hand”, “For instance”, and “Nevertheless”. Try not to use “For example” too often. You can also use “This means that” or “Because of this”.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas flow well. In the second main part, make the link to your own view a little more direct at the start, so the reader can see at once why customer action is helpful but not enough.
task response
You answer every part of the question. Your view is clear from the start and stays the same until the end.
task response
Your main point is strong: firms make the choices about packs, so they can cut waste on a much wider scale.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the ideas are put in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph sums up both sides and clearly restates your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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