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Band 6.5

the graph below shows the price of different kinds of bread in dollars from 2001 to 2005 Compare the trends and write a report.

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the graph below shows the price of different kinds of bread in dollars from 2001 to 2005 Compare the trends and write a report.
The line graph compares four types of
bread
Use synonyms
 in terms of their prices in
dollars
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
price
Use synonyms
 of brown, white and rye experienced an upward trend over the
five years
Correct word choice
five-year
show examples
 period,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for wholegrain
plunge to
Wrong verb form
plunged
show examples
 after reaching its peak.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 the trend of wholegrain, it
cost
Use synonyms
 0,8
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2001
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure increased sharply to 1,8
dollars
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 was its peak point.
Whereas
Linking Words
 it decreased dramatically to 0,8
dollars
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 was its initial
price
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, the remaining all three types of
bread
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
 the same amount of money
with
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 0.6
dollars
Use synonyms
. Turning to the
cost
Use synonyms
 of brown
bread
Use synonyms
, it increased significantly to 1,5
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2002
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it reached a peak of 1,6
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2003. After a slight drop to $1.40 in
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
 it climbed to $1,6 in 2005. White
bread
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
 0,6
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2001
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure steadily rose in
price
Use synonyms
 to 1,3
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2005 Rye
bread
Use synonyms
 0,6
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2001
the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 type of
bread
Use synonyms
 has remained virtually unchanged for four years
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 by
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 the
price
Use synonyms
 was $0,7

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bread, dollars, price, cost with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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