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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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Introduction
In
this
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 modern age, studying abroad is more accessible than before. The ability to pick any University and choose the best in certain fields, unlike
before
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before,
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 where their options are limited to their own
country
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. And it’s a true privilege we have today. But the question remains, is it always better to study abroad
.
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?
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Body paragraph 1
In some events, studying abroad can be better, especially in science
, going
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. Going
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 to
countries
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where they
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that
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 are the
lead
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leaders
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countries
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 in certain fields of science
,
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apply
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provides a better quality of education. Exposing students to
relevant
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a relevant
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 and new curriculum that holds more value. It provides students to be able to experience and learn
first hand
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first-hand
 from the greatest scientists in the world. In result of that, students can come back to their
countries
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 and invest what they have learned to improve the education of their universities.
Body paragraph 2
But
this
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 is not always the case. In some
fields
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fields,
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 a degree must be from the same
country
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 you want to work in,
for
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instance
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instance,
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 law. Laws differ from one
country
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 to
the other
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another
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,and getting a law degree
,
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apply
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 by studying abroad and coming back to your home
country
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 in hopes of getting a job
,
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apply
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 is simply irrational
and
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, and
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this
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 degree would hold little to no value
,
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apply
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 and can only get you so far. It is of
most
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the utmost
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 importance to consider where and how
do
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apply
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you want to work and apply the knowledge accumulated from your years of study.
Conclusion
In the end, studying abroad has been one of the greatest methods to exchange knowledge between
countries
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, but that doesn’t mean it is the best approach in all cases, where sometimes studying in your own
country
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 can be more beneficial for your career.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more even way. You explain the good side and the bad side, but add one more clear good point, such as better work chances, new language skills, or meeting people from many places.
task response
Give a more real example for each main point. For example, a student may study space science in a country with a strong space program, then use those skills at home. For law, say that rules and courts are not the same in each country.
task response
Make your ideas more exact. Say why a new course is better and how it helps students after they go home. Also, explain that some abroad degrees may still be useful if the student plans to work in that same country.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Make the first paragraph state clearly that you will look at both the good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Try phrases like “One main benefit is…”, “However, there are times when…”, and “For this reason…”. This will help the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the first body part, start with the main benefit, then give the science example, then explain the result. In the second, start with the law problem, then explain why it matters for work.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid some long or unclear sentences. For example, change “It provides students to be able to experience” to “It lets students learn first hand from leading scientists.” Also add a space after commas.
task response
You address both the good and bad sides of studying abroad, and your law example is very relevant.
task response
Your main idea about bringing new skills back home is useful and well linked to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows an easy-to-follow order: introduction, benefit, drawback, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph gives a clear overall view: studying abroad can be helpful, but it is not right for every career.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural awareness
  • adaptability
  • academic opportunities
  • specialized programs
  • prestigious courses
  • language proficiency
  • professional network
  • globalized job market
  • personal development
  • independence
  • life skills
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