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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are working from home rather then at workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views ans give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In recent years, modern technological
advancement
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advancements
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 have enabled an increasing number of individuals to
work
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 from
home
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instead
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 of working in a traditional workplace.
Consequently
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, debates have arisen
whether
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over whether
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this
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 shift is advantageous or detrimental.
While
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 some argue that remote
work
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 offers valuable flexibility for
the
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apply
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employees and their families, others contend that
this
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 brings domestic stress at
home
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. In my opinion, the advantages of convenience outweigh the potential downsides of
this
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 issue, provided that proper boundaries are maintained.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, remote working offers significant advantages to the workers and their families. One can
work
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 from anywhere in the world
according to
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his
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one's
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 comfort as long as the deadline is met. Remote
work
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 does not require a
person
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 to get up from sleep early and
then
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 travel to the workplace
where
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, where
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 late arrival is not tolerated. It saves a
person
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 from many hassles. No transport expense or preparation is required. It just requires a digital device like
laptop
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a laptop
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 or
computer
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a computer
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. An individual can
work
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 with ease when he/she is in his/her
home
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.
This
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 is significantly better for the people who often find it hard to rush to their
work
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timely
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on time
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, bringing
work
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 into the living space can blur the boundaries between professional
life
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 and personal
life
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.
For example
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, an employed mother might get frustrated when she works from
home
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due to
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 the disturbance of her kids. It brings domestic stress in the
home
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 and often makes the
person
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work
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 long hours and disconnect from personal
life
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.
Also
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, in
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home
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the home
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 environment, each
person
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 might have different issues ongoing.
As a result
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, it is relatively difficult to
work
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 in peace compared to the workplace.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 working from
home
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 can blur the lines between professional and domestic
life
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,
l
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I
 believe that
it's
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its
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 advantages are far more significant. The disadvantages can't be overlooked at the same time, but by setting up clear schedules and
proper
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a proper
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 dedicated workspace, employees can enjoy the immense flexibility and quality time with their families that remote
work
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 uniquely provides.

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. To make your view stronger, explain more clearly why the good points are more important than the bad points.
task response
Some ideas are too broad. For example, say how saved travel time can help family life, such as allowing parents to take children to school or eat with them.
task response
Use more careful claims. “One can work from anywhere in the world” is not true for every job. Say “many people can work from home” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links inside paragraphs smoother. For example, after saying that home work saves travel time, explain how this leads to less stress or more time with family.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “home” and “work” too often in close sentences. You can use “this way of working”, “the job”, or “the living space” when the meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, group time, travel, and cost under the main idea of flexibility and ease.
task response
You discuss both the benefits and the stress caused by working from home, and your own opinion is clear from the start.
task response
The example of a mother being interrupted by her children is relevant and helps show the problem at home.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” makes the main path of the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion returns to your main view and gives a useful answer: clear times and a space for work can reduce problems.
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