Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, others believe that children who are taught to Co-operate rather than compete become more useful atults. Discuss both the views and give opinion
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areCorrect subject-verb agreement
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a considerable debate whether
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of competition or co-operate are the most important
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to children. In
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two distinct
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, I will discuss
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both and present my own opinion that teaching children to
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of competition
encouraging childrens'Wrong verb form
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motivation, teaching
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kids
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work in groups
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is the most useful long-term value for them.
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You state your view clearly: children should learn to work with others. However, the response is only an introduction, so it does not fully discuss both views or explain your opinion in enough detail. Add one full paragraph about competition, one about working with others, and a final paragraph with your view.
Explain why competition can help children, such as making them try harder or set goals. Then explain why working with others is more useful, such as helping children share ideas, solve problems, and get ready for work.
Use clear examples. For example, a child may try harder in a race, but a group school task can teach children how to listen, share work, and help each other.
Your main order is clear: you introduce the two views and give your own view. To make the whole essay easy to follow, use a simple plan: introduction, competition, working with others, your opinion, conclusion.
Some linking words are not used in a clear way. For example, “Consequently” does not fit well because the next sentence does not show a result. Use simple links such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Make each sentence clear and complete. Instead of “In this two distinct view, I will discuss either both”, write “This essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.”
Keep key words the same and use natural forms: “competition”, “cooperation”, “children”, and “working in groups”. Avoid forms such as “co-operate are the most important taught to children” because the meaning is hard to follow.
You answer the question by showing both sides and giving a clear personal view.
You choose a useful main idea for your view: working in groups can help children in later life.
Your introduction has a clear focus and tries to show the direction of the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general