Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to gibe longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views

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Introduction

Nowadays, a small portion of society thinks that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to impose longer prison sentences.

This

Linking Words

topic has attracted considerable attention.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

that

this

Linking Words

view is beneficial, others hold a different

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, there are several reasons why some

people

Use synonyms

support

this

Linking Words

view. The primary

reson

Correct your spelling

reason

is that it

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

accountability.

This

Linking Words

is because offenders face more serious consequences for their actions.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, longer

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

sentences can deter crime because

people

Use synonyms

may avoid breaking the

laws

Check wording

law

show examples

if they fear

sever

Use the right word

severe

show examples

punishment.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is understandable why

this

Linking Words

perspective is supported by many

people

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are valid arguments in favour of the opposing view. One significant reason is that longer prison

sentence

Correct subject-verb agreement

sentences

show examples

increase government

expenditue

Correct your spelling

expenditure

In addition

Linking Words

, it can overcrowd prisons.

In other words

Linking Words

, more prisoners put pressure on limited facilities.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

perspective

also

Linking Words

has considerable support.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both perspectives have their own merits and can be supported for different reasons.

However

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

believe that increasing prison

sentence

Check wording

sentences

show examples

is a good initiative because it

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

law and order in a country.

rithikahluwalia165

Oct 2, 2026

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Task response

You discuss both sides and give your own view, so you answer all parts of the question. However, your ideas are quite short. Explain more clearly why long prison terms may stop crime and why other ways may work better.

Task response

Your view at the end is clear, but it needs more support. Say why better law and order comes from longer terms, and also show why this is stronger than the other view.

Task response

Add real or clear examples. For example, you could mention job training, help for young people, or better police work as other ways to cut crime. This would make the second view more complete.

Coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, one side, other side, and ending. This makes it easy to follow.

Coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. Words such as “Furthermore”, “In addition”, and “Consequently” are used well, but some links do not fully show the step in your idea. Give one more sentence of explanation before moving to the next point.

Coherence and cohesion

Keep the main point of each body paragraph clear. In the second body paragraph, start by naming one or two better ways to reduce crime, then explain why they may be better than prison.

Task response

You cover both views and state your own opinion in the conclusion.

Coherence and cohesion

The paragraph order is clear, and the opening tells the reader what the essay will do.

Coherence and cohesion

You use several useful linking words to connect your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

200 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to gibe longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views

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