IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

4.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
the chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph records the comparison
Use synonyms
incidents
Change preposition
of incidents
show examples
 about the number of crimes in three different types,
such
Linking Words
 as
burglary
Use synonyms
,
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
, and robbery (
theft
Use synonyms
 from
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
 person) from 2003 to 2012 in New Port City
Center
Change the spelling
Centre
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two areas, which are
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
robbery
Punctuation problem
robbery,
show examples
 that
consistenly
Correct your spelling
consistently remain
 stable with
slightly change
Replace the word
slight changes
 throughout the years,
whereas
Linking Words
burglary
Use synonyms
 shows
extremely
Correct article usage
an extremely
show examples
down
Replace the word
downward
 pattern from 2003 to 2012. At
first,
Linking Words
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
burglary
Use synonyms
 look stable over the years, but they have different start points.
Car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 at
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 with over than 2500 crimes and slightly
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 to below 2500
evidences
Check wording
incidents
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 robbery consistently gives lower crimes at below 1000
incidents
Use synonyms
 throughout the years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
burglary
Use synonyms
 crime presents the highest number of
incidents
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2003 with approximately
almost
Rephrase
apply
show examples
3500.
However
Linking Words
, starting in 2004,
burglary
Use synonyms
 dramatically
dives down
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 from over 3500 to slightly below 1500 in 2008 before being consistent until 2012 with around 1000 to 1500
incidents
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents, burglary, car, theft with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instances of crime
  • significant decline
  • noticeable change
  • fluctuating trend
  • relatively stable
  • minor fluctuations
  • dramatic reduction
  • converged towards
  • crime rate
  • time frame
  • notable trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: