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Band 7.5

the chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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the chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 line graph shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of three crime categories (
burglaries
Use synonyms
,
car
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thefts
Use synonyms
, and robberies) that took place in New Port
city
Use synonyms
 from 2003 to 2012.
This
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 essay discusses the main features and patterns in the statistical graph. As can be seen, burglary had the highest crime rate from 2003 to 2006.
Burglaries
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 reached their peak in 2004, nearly reaching 4,000
cases
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 in Newport
city
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.
However
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, after 2006, the
number
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 of incidents significantly decreased to only around 1,500
cases
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 per year.
As well as
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this
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, the
cases
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 of
burglaries
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 plateaued in 2008.
Therefore
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, given the data, it can be predicted that
cases
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 involving
burglaries
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 may continue their stable pattern.
In addition
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, the
number
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 of
car
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thefts
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 in Newport
city
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 during the span of nine years was pretty fixed. It reached its peak in 2004, with almost 3,000
cases
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.
Thus
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, it reached its lowest point in 2006, with approximately 2,100
cases
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.
However
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, the
number
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 of
cases
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 did not change much, as all nine years revolved around 2,000 to 2,500 incidents. The amount of robberies is the outlier compared to
burglaries
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 and
car
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thefts
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. Of all nine years, the
number
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 of
cases
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 annually was less than 1,000. It reached its peak in 2005, with almost 1,000
cases
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, and
then
Linking Words
 reached its lowest point in 2008, with around only 500
cases
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. In conclusion,
burglaries
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 and
car
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thefts
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 had the most crime incidents in New Port
city
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 between 2003 and 2012,
while
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 robbery had the least amount of
cases
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, burglaries, car, thefts, city, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instances of crime
  • significant decline
  • noticeable change
  • fluctuating trend
  • relatively stable
  • minor fluctuations
  • dramatic reduction
  • converged towards
  • crime rate
  • time frame
  • notable trajectory
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