IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Universities are a hub of technical education and social sciences, which teach
students
Use synonyms
 a variety of skills and knowledge. There is a debate that
students
Use synonyms
 should choose their favourite discipline to
study
Use synonyms
 or only
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 and IT courses. Let's discuss both sides.
Body paragraph 1
Freedom of selecting modules must be given to all
students
Use synonyms
 because, psychologically, they are more likely to
have
Verb problem
experience
show examples
 no stress and boredom with those
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they feel a positive relation to that field of
study
Use synonyms
 as their internal motivation boosts to explore more about that particular area.
For example
Linking Words
, when a student is enrolled in psychology, which
has
Correct pronoun usage
he has
show examples
 chosen
by him
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, his inner will and curiosity push him to perform extraordinarily even in hectic tasks like meeting with patients and irregular visits. So that, self-selection of material for learning can make the toughest tasks easier , which contributes to well bieng of the student.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that their children should only
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 and computer studies. As today is an era of
Science
Use synonyms
 and there is a greater demand for physicians and chemists,
thejob
Correct your spelling
the job
 market for
such
Linking Words
 complex skills is intensely wide as compared to simple
subjects
Use synonyms
. Graduates with analytical and technological capabilities have more opportunities in Labs and highly paid work stations.
For instance
Linking Words
, Masters in physics has more chances to work in NASA and Aviation.
Body paragraph 3
Having said that, scientific knowledge is important for building a good future.
Body paragraph 4
In my opinion, I support the point of view that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to
study
Use synonyms
 their own chosen courses because it will increase their interest and give them more chances of
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
excellence in that discipline.
However
Linking Words
, if a student is studying the toughest
subjects
Use synonyms
,
he
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 might score well
while
Linking Words
 studying forcefully.
Conclusion
While
Linking Words
 concluding, I would like to say that, yes, the need for
science
Use synonyms
 has increased to a certain level , but
students
Use synonyms
 should have the right to
study
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 in which they are interested.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. Make your view stronger by saying it clearly in the first paragraph and keeping the same view to the end.
task response
Explain why science and IT are useful not only for jobs, but also for the needs of society. Then explain why other subjects can also lead to useful work.
task response
Use more careful examples. A student of physics may work in many places, but saying that a master’s degree in physics gives more chance to work at NASA is too broad. Give a clear, likely example.
task response
Your point about choice and interest is good. Add one more reason, such as students often work harder and stay longer in a field they enjoy.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: one side, the other side, then your view. Keep this plan, but join the short paragraph about science to the paragraph before it.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with a clear main idea. Then give a reason, an example, and a short result. This will make each paragraph easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. For example, replace “So that” with “Therefore” or “As a result” when you show an effect.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same idea about science in the last two paragraphs. Use the conclusion only to sum up both views and restate your own view.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and clearly choose the view that students should have freedom to choose.
task response
The first body paragraph has a clear idea: students may feel more interest and less stress when they choose a subject they like.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body paragraphs, a paragraph for your own view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Additionally”, “For example”, “On the other hand”, and “In my opinion” help the reader see the change between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: