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Writing Samples
Band 4

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reason and solution?

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Introduction
Animals
Use synonyms
 are important for nature
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a lot of them are becoming rare and extinct because
careless
Change preposition
of careless
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humans behaviors
Check wording
human behaviour
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.
Body paragraph 1
lettering
Capitalize the word
Lettering
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 and pollution not only
damages
Correct subject-verb agreement
damage
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 our environment but
also
Linking Words
effect
Use the right word
affect
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animals
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 throwing plastic bags in the ocean can hurt many sea creatures, and hunting specifically Endangered species is prohibited.
Body paragraph 2
More so
laws
Punctuation problem
, laws
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 should be enforced to protect and prevent them
being
Change preposition
from being
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 violated and extended
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 people should be more
carfeful
Correct your spelling
careful
 and responsible towards
animals
Use synonyms
 and nature
Conclusion
In the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is our world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 are important
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they impact our lives.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give clear reasons for animal loss on land and in the sea, then give clear ways to solve each problem.
task response
Add more main ideas. For example, land loss from new roads and farms, water pollution, overfishing, and illegal hunting. Explain how each one harms animals.
task response
Develop your solutions. Say who should act: governments can make and use strong laws, while people can use less plastic, not buy animal parts, and help protect natural homes.
task response
Your plastic-in-the-ocean example is useful. Add one land example too, such as cutting forests for farms, so the answer covers both land and sea.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, reasons, solutions, and conclusion. This will make your answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with one clear point. Then explain it and give an example before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion.” This will show how your ideas are linked.
coherence and cohesion
Write in full sentences and use capital letters at the start of sentences. This will make the links between ideas clearer.
task response
You clearly state that human actions harm animals, and you give relevant ideas about plastic waste and hunting.
task response
You include solutions, such as stronger laws and more care from people.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has a short opening, body ideas, and a final ending.
coherence and cohesion
The point about plastic bags in the ocean is placed well after the idea of pollution, so the example is easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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