IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, an increasing number of people are choosing to work from home rather than travel to an office every day. Some people believe that this is a positive trend that benefits both employees and employers. Others, however, think that working in an office is more productive and better for team spirit. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In many countries, more
people
Use synonyms
 now work remotely
instead
Linking Words
 of going to an
office
Use synonyms
 every day. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
 is good for both employees and employers. Others think working in an
office
Use synonyms
 is better for teamwork. In my opinion, working in an
office
Use synonyms
 is the better choice because it helps
people
Use synonyms
 work together and learn from others.
Body paragraph 1
People
Use synonyms
 who support working from
home
Use synonyms
 have one good reason
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 it reduces commuting
time
Use synonyms
. Employees who work from
home
Use synonyms
 do not have to commute to the
office
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who lives far from the
office
Use synonyms
 can save two hours every day.
This
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 can be used to finish tasks or to rest, which improves their work-life balance. Because of
this
Linking Words
, they feel less stressed and are more productive, and employers get better results.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, I believe that working in an
office
Use synonyms
 is better, because employees can get guidance from experienced colleagues.
For example
Linking Words
, a new employee can ask a colleague for advice and solve a problem in a few minutes. At
home
Use synonyms
, he may wait a long
time
Use synonyms
 for an email reply. In an
office
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can discuss ideas
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 and help each other with new tasks. Because of
this
Linking Words
, he gains experience faster and makes fewer mistakes.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 helps the company
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because the team collaborates more effectively.
Body paragraph 3
In conclusion, working from
home
Use synonyms
 reduces commuting
time
Use synonyms
 and can help both workers and companies.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that working in an
office
Use synonyms
 is better, because workers can get guidance from others and gain experience faster.
This
Linking Words
 is why the
office
Use synonyms
 is the better choice.
Conclusion
'

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, add one more reason for each side. For example, home work can help people with family needs, while office work can make team plans faster.
task response
Your examples are clear, but they are quite general. Add a more real example with a job or a team. This can show exactly how home work or office work changes the result.
task response
Your main view is clear from the start to the end. You could also say that the best choice may depend on the type of work, such as new staff, team work, or work that needs quiet time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one side, then the other side, and then your final view. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words. You use “For example,” “However,” and “Because of this” well, but you can also use “In addition,” “As a result,” and “On the other hand.”
coherence and cohesion
In the office paragraph, the word “he” is not fully clear because you are talking about employees in general. Use “they” or “new workers” to keep the meaning clear.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and clearly state your own view.
task response
The point about saving two hours of travel time is useful and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and final paragraph clearly show your main view and bring the essay to a clear end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: