IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to educate children is by using the internet in every lesson. To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

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Nowdays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, in the age of technology became popular in daily life, some people
belives
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the best way
educate
Verb problem
to educate
show examples
 children is by using the internet in every lesson. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other
side
Check wording
hand
show examples
, using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
to
Use the right word
too
show examples
 much
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to negative
effective
Replace the word
effects
 One primary reason why it is a good thing for children is using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in

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task response
Your answer starts with a clear opinion: you partly agree. However, it stops very early. Answer both parts of the question: say how far you agree, then give other ways to make lessons work well for children.
task response
Develop each main idea. Explain how the internet can help, but also explain why too much internet use can be bad. Add simple, real examples, such as videos for science or group work in class.
task response
Write a full ending. Restate your view and sum up the main ways that lessons can be effective.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph about good points of the internet, one paragraph about bad points, one paragraph about other teaching ways, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Make complete sentences. For example, change “One primary reason why it is a good thing for children is using internet in” into a full idea with an explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First”, “However”, “For example”, “Also”, and “In the end”. This will help the reader follow your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same idea in each paragraph. Do not move to a new point until you have explained the first point.
task response
You give your own view at the start, which is a good first step.
task response
You notice that internet use can have both good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening shows the main topic and your position, so the reader can understand the direction of the answer.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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