Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. IOthers believe that they have greatly increased human potentials. What is your opinion?

5.0 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Some people argued that computers can enhance our potential in various ways,
while
Linking Words
some thought that it is way too hard for ordinary humans to learn and master
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
.Both points will be examined in
this
Linking Words
essay,
although
Linking Words
I do support the positive sides of
this
Linking Words
argument.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,I believe there are some reasons why people think that it is more of a 'hindrance' than a help.
Firstly
Linking Words
,I think that computers are not for everyone;it takes time to study,to learn how to use them properly ,because if you don't know anything , u might click into some virus and it will ruin your entire pc.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the costs of it
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
insanely high for a regular salary worker.If you want a pc that will
last
Linking Words
with you at least 5 years,the price could be very high,but I feel that it will be worth it if you use it in the right way.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there are numerous reasons why I believe that the Pc will surge human potential.Technologies nowadays are very important in our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.Those who know the pros/cons of the device probably have more opportunities to do things in the future;
for example
Linking Words
,getting jobs or finding great universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,you can enjoy yourself by watching online
video
Check wording
videos
show examples
from any platforms
such
Linking Words
as YouTube or even TikTok;
this
Linking Words
not only relieves your stress but
also
Linking Words
gives some individuals an idea to do anything innovative in the future.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
computers can be more of a hindrance if you don't know how to use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
,I still support that facts that it helps us do many things now and in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that computers are mainly a help, even though they can cause problems for some people.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. For example, explain how computers help people learn, work, talk to others, and solve problems, not only get jobs or watch videos.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. Instead of saying computers give people more chances, explain that a student can take an online class or a worker can do work from home.
task response
Some ideas need better support. High cost and virus risk are real problems, but explain why these problems do not make computers a hindrance for most people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body paragraphs, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the link from one idea to the next smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words with correct spacing: “On the one hand,” “For example,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion,”. Do not join words to commas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, focus on problems. In the second, focus on ways computers improve human ability.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same word form and point of view. Write “computers” rather than “Pc”, and write “people” or “users” rather than “u”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your final paragraph stronger by restating your view and giving the main reason: computers help people more when they are used safely and well.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view. This makes your position easy to understand.
task response
You give useful points about virus risk, cost, work, study, and free time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Firstly”, “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “To conclude” help the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: