IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people today find they have insufficient time to spend with their families, bacause of pressures of work.What problems does this create for individuals and their families?what solutions can you propose ?which would be the most effective solution, in your view?

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays do not have enough time for
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 they love ,especially their families
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to the pressure of
works
Check wording
work
show examples
.In
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will examine the problems that
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 with
this
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 event and
solotions
Correct your spelling
solutions
.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several common problems that can be seen.First and foremost,working excessively could lead to mental problems
such
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 as depression or job anxiety
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is very bad for the person and
people
Use synonyms
 around them too.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,you might as well miss good memories with the person you love since the
work
Use synonyms
drag
Correct subject-verb agreement
drags
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 you far away from them ,and you might regret your decision on
day
Correct article usage
the day
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.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, there are viable solutions that can help restore a healthy
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.Companies could introduce flexible working arrangements,
such
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 as remote
work
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 or reduced overtime, allowing employees to manage their duties more effectively. In my view,
however
Linking Words
, the most effective solution is for individuals to establish strict personal boundaries between
work
Use synonyms
 and home life. By
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
show examples
 family time and turning off
work
Use synonyms
 notifications after business hours,
people
Use synonyms
 can ensure they remain present with their loved ones regardless of
work
Use synonyms
 demands
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 working
excessivly
Correct your spelling
excessively
 has a serveral drawbacks,
at the end
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 of the day,each
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 can choose
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
to live their happy life.

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task response
Answer all parts in a clear way. You name two problems and two answers, but the problems need more detail. Explain how less family time can hurt trust, child care, or family talk.
task response
Give a clear reason why personal limits are the best answer. For example, say that a worker can use this plan every day, while a company may not change its rules for all staff.
task response
Use one short real-life example. For example, a parent who works late each day may miss meals and school events, so the child may feel less close to the parent.
coherence and cohesion
Your main plan is easy to follow: problems, answers, then your own view. Keep this plan, but make each body part more full before you move to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas more exact. Instead of only using “Furthermore”, show the link: “As a result, they may miss family meals and other special times.”
coherence and cohesion
The last part should repeat the main problems and the best answer. Do not add a new broad idea about people choosing a happy life, as it does not fully close the answer.
coherence and cohesion
Check some word forms and full stops, as they can make the text hard to read. For example, write “work pressure”, “problems that come with this”, “solutions”, and “one day”.
task response
You give a direct answer to the question and state which answer you think is best.
task response
The ideas about flexible work and turning off work messages are useful and fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful signposts such as “To begin with”, “Nevertheless”, and “To conclude” to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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