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Band 5.5

The line graph shows the average annual expenditure on cell phones and residential phone service from 2012 to 2021 in Canada.

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The line graph shows the average annual expenditure on cell phones and residential phone service from 2012 to 2021 in Canada.
The line graph illustrates the average yearly expenses on mobile
phones
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 and residential phone service in Canada from 2012 to 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that expenditure on cell
phones
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 steadily rose throughout the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the trend for residential
phone
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phones
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 decreased. In 2012, the average costs on residential phone were to the tune of 700
dollars
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the figure consistently declined
around
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to around
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 550
dollars
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 in 2014 and 520
dollars
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 in 2016.
However
Linking Words
, the trend continuously slumped
stood
Wrong verb form
, standing
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 at 500
dollars
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 in 2018, 450
dollars
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 in 2020,
approximately
Correct word choice
and approximately
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 400
dollars
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 in 2021.
In contrast
Linking Words
, expenditure on cell
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phones
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phone
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 service started from 259
dollars
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 in 2012. The trend slightly jumped, roughly 300
dollars
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. Followed by, the figure substantially rose
about
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by about
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 400
dollars
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 in 2016. The expenditure on mobile
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phones
Check wording
phone
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 services gradually increased, reaching a peak
at
Change preposition
of
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 750
dollars
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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