Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

3.5 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Nowadays, some individuals

thinks

Correct subject-verb agreement

think

show examples

that

Use synonyms

compaines chossing

Correct your spelling

companies choosing

sports

Use synonyms

to sponsor their own brands and others argue that it is

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

trend for

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

. I think

this

Linking Words

trend brings more advantages

Linking Words

then

Use the right word

than

show examples

disadvantages to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, the benefits of companies using

sports

Use synonyms

to sponsor are revenue

Change preposition

from the

show examples

game and free

advertsiment

Correct your spelling

advertising

for

sports

Use synonyms

. Multinational

beverages

Correct your spelling

beverage companies

compaines

Use synonyms

always bring

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

Use synonyms

money

Change preposition

of money

show examples

game

Correct article usage

the game

show examples

Change preposition

through

show examples

sponsorship deals.

For example

Linking Words

, Pepsi paid more than 100 million dollars to FIFA for

sponorship

Correct your spelling

sponsorship

, and management can use

this

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

to support poor countries in the

trouenment

Correct your spelling

tournament

In addition

Linking Words

, thesedays advertisments cost more

money

Use synonyms

to promote games

timing

Check wording

apply

show examples

to all people, but

due to

Linking Words

these

sponorship

Correct your spelling

sponsorship

deals

Add a comma

deals,

show examples

individual

Use synonyms

compaines

Correct your spelling

companies

are doing marketing

instead

Linking Words

of FIFA.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, disadvantages

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

along with

Linking Words

sponsor

Correct subject-verb agreement

sponsors

show examples

are

alchol

Correct your spelling

alcohol companies

compaines

Use synonyms

and

fast

Correct article usage

the fast

show examples

food industry. There is no age limit for

audences

Correct your spelling

audiences

to watch the game at

stadium

Correct article usage

the stadium

show examples

, but alcohol banners will

placed

Verb problem

be placed

show examples

all around. Younger people under 21years old

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

are getting attracted to them at the games and

endup

Correct your spelling

end up

with addiction.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast food companies

compaines

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

use

sports

Use synonyms

for marketing

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

those foods are not completely safe to eat. Some food

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

using

low quality

Correct your spelling

low-quality

ingredients may cause customers to visit

hosiptals

Correct your spelling

hospitals

Conclusion

conculsion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

sponroship

Correct your spelling

sponsorship

always comes with positive and negatives. I think

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

outweight

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

the

disadavantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

. Managements can use the huge

sponorship

Correct your spelling

sponsorship

money

Use synonyms

to help poor countries in terms of economy. By keeping age limit for games can eassy minimum the drawbacks.

marupudipavan203

Oct 5, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response

You discuss both sides and give your own view, which is good. However, explain your ideas more fully. Say why money from sponsors helps sport, and why ads for alcohol and fast food may harm young people.

Task response

Your example about Pepsi and FIFA is useful, but it needs to be clear and true. Add one more clear example, such as money for small teams, new places to play, or help for young players.

Task response

Your main view is clear: the good sides are stronger. In the last part, explain why rules, such as limits on some ads, can make this work better.

Coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear plan: an opening, one part for good points, one part for bad points, and an ending. Keep this plan.

Coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because the link between ideas is not clear. Use simple links such as “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”.

Coherence and cohesion

Start each paragraph with one clear main idea. Then give an example and explain it. Do not put too many different ideas in one long sentence.

Coherence and cohesion

Make key words stay the same. For example, use “sports sponsorship” or “sponsors” through the essay, instead of changing between “sponsor”, “advertising”, and “marketing” without a clear link.

Task response

You answer all parts of the question: you show good and bad sides and give your own view.

Task response

The points about money for sport and health risks from some ads are on topic.

Coherence and cohesion

The use of “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” helps the reader see your main plan.

Coherence and cohesion

Your ending clearly returns to your main view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sponsorship
advertisement
financial support
visibility
popularity
athletes
excel
healthy competition
commercialization
fair competition
profits
well-being
exclusion
less popular sports

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Shopping online is getting more and more popular in recent years. E-commerce becomes one of the most vibrant industries that represent for new ear of technology. In this essay, drawbacks and benefits of shopping online will be discussed in further details.
In the contemporary world, technology has infiltrated almost all aspects of our lives, significantly reshaping the shopping experience through practising multitudinous online marketing strategies. It is my contention that while this phenomenon offers unparalleled flexibility and convenience for consumers, certain lenses are proven to fall short of complying with reliability and health effects on humans.
7
band
in some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. what problems are causing ? what measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Around the world, many traditional festivals and cultural celebrations are at risk of becoming outdated. In some countries, traditional festivals and customs are disappearing or have already disappeared, which means new generations are not able to connect with their own heritage and historical culture. It is crucial to understand what is happening and what measures can be taken to preserve these beautiful traditional festivals.
6
band
Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty. Others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
So worrisome has the issue of crime become that more and more people believe that it is a result of the natural badness characteristic of a person. Meanwhile, others assert that crime is an effect of destitution and social challenges. There are strong arguments on both sides, however, which I will elaborate on below.
6.5
band
Living in the country where you have to know a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Residing in a country where communicating in a foreign language is necessary can lead to significant social and practical issues. This essay agrees with this idea because not to know external languages can lead to language barrier and social isolation.
7.5
band
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this paper, we will be discussing both views as we think that both of them have valid arguments, however, we believe that humans should employ animals as long as it is for food and research, and any use different from it should be condemned.

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Shopping online is getting more and more popular in recent years. E-commerce becomes one of the most vibrant industries that represent for new ear of technology. In this essay, drawbacks and benefits of shopping online will be discussed in further details.

in some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. what problems are causing ? what measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty. Others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in the country where you have to know a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.