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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams below show the development of the village of Kelsbey between 1780 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The diagram illustrates the
changes
Use synonyms
 that took place in the village of Kelsbey from 1780 to 2000.
This
Linking Words
 report aims to summarise the key trends,significant comparisons and notable
changes
Use synonyms
 highlighted in the data.
Overall
Linking Words
,the
area
Use synonyms
 underwent several significant
changes
Use synonyms
.Some existing
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 were removed or replaced,
while
Linking Words
 new facilities were added.
In addition
Linking Words
,the layout of the
area
Use synonyms
 became more modern. Looking first at the northern part of the
area
Use synonyms
 ,many
farms
Use synonyms
 were built there in 1780.Meanwhile,the woods were in the eastern part of the
area
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
bridage
Correct your spelling
bridge
 was added in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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1860 across the river.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the road was built next to the
farms
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the river remained in the same location.
In addition
Linking Words
,the
farms
Use synonyms
 and woods were reduced in 1860. Moving to the opposite part of the
area
Use synonyms
,the waterland for birds
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 added by 2000,
while
Linking Words
 the
farms
Use synonyms
 and woods were removed.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the sports field and schools were built.
In addition
Linking Words
,many shops were added next to the river.The villages were added in the northeast.These
changes
Use synonyms
 made the
area
Use synonyms
 more developed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words changes, area, farms with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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