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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Lately
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Lately,
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 more and more foreigners are deciding to learn more about the countries they
sutled
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settled
 in, and it is a great idea
especially
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, especially
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 when it comes to getting
along with
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 the natives of
this
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country
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.
needless
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Needless
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 to
say
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say,
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 learning the history and culture creates a sense of
Body paragraph 1
appreteation to
this
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country
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 and can make individuals feel closer to it and view it as home.
Body paragraph 2
Learning history particularly creates empathy towards the
country
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 and its people.
For instance
Linking Words
understanding
Punctuation problem
, understanding
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 the struggles and the hardships that the people had to endure
throw
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through
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 the years, and how they overcame
it
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them
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. helps the foreigner by becoming more
compationte
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compassionate
 towards those people
Body paragraph 3
and understanding them
in
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on
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 a deeper level.
by
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By
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 doing
so
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so,
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 it creates a bond between individuals.
Body paragraph 4
Understanding the culture is crucial,
mvoing
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moving
 to a
diffierent
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different
country
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entirly
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entirely
 with different habits and social norms,
its
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it's
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 important to study them
before hand
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beforehand
 and to have a good understanding of what
it
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apply
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is appropriate and what is not. because some things that are completely normal and regular in some
countrys
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countries
 can come across as rude to other
countrys
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countries
. And as a
long staying
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long-staying
visitor
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visitor,
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 it is important
to not
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not to
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 offend anyone by accident. Or to
also
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 avoid cultural shock by being
preprared
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prepared
 in
advansed
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advance
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
by
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apply
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obtaining
knowlege
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knowledge
 in both
history
Add an article
the history
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 and culture of the
country
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 you are living in helps
troumandously
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tremendously
. It creates a bond and loyalty to the
country
Use synonyms

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task response
You answer the main question clearly. To make your ideas stronger, explain more fully how history can help a person feel part of the country. Add one real example, such as a public day, a local custom, or something you have seen.
task response
Your two main points are good: history builds care for people, and culture helps people avoid rude acts. Give a fuller example for each point, then say clearly why it matters for a person who lives there.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, history, culture, and ending. Make the first line more direct by saying that foreigners should learn about both history and culture.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. For example: “First, learning about history can...” and “Second, knowing local culture can...”. This will make the main points easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some long lines join many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences. For example, say what may be rude first, then explain that learning local rules can stop this problem.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph should sum up both main points in a complete way. You can state that this knowledge helps foreigners understand people, act with care, and feel more at home.
task response
You give a clear view that learning about the country is important, and you stay on the topic throughout the essay.
task response
The point about avoiding culture shock and not hurting people by mistake is useful and fits the question well.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs each have one main idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
You include an opening and an ending, and the ending returns to the key idea of feeling close to the country.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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